I can’t stop self harming. my whole life I’ve been treated like garbage and not given a fck about even by those who were supposed to help me. I can honestly say I’ve never been lower in my life. I became thousands of dollars in debt at 17 because of a scam & people taking advantage of my obvious vulnerability and I felt like I lost my life then and there. I have no hopes or dreams anymore and my pos narcissist mother would just encourage this negative thought process bc she is broken too. I’ve been deeply betrayed by those who were supposed to be the redemption of my faith in people but ig that’s my fault for believing in people. I grew up undiagnosed autistic and I’ve learned no coping skills. I hate myself so much it’s a constant battle and I’m really starting to believe it would be best for everyone in my life If I just wasn’t here anymore. I’ve exhausted my resources and I don’t feel I’m getting any better only worse. I’m so sad so often that people are no longer understanding. I’m just a big fat burden. Not only that but I’ve been having terrifying lung issues and I truly feel my body is deteriorating. I just wish I was never born. My whole life is such a fcking joke
That is such alot to deal with. Everyone deserves their place on Earth, you do too. How people treat you does not reflect your worth. You are worthy just being you. The problems you mention are serious and need addressing one at a time. Work on putting the biggest fire out first. Sending strength and wisdom. 
Welcome to Team Auties ! 
It’s never too late to learn how to deal with it…
For a start, try not to consider it a disorder like so many people do.
It’s not a disorder, we just have a slightly different programming.
And believe me, it’s not like all neutotypicals are wired the same. Or even more logically 
Hey girl, I’m sorry you got so much pain, loneliness, disappointment. So hard. I was this young girl for the longest time who was so damn lost. I felt like I had no one. Was a burden. Was loathsome. I thought this would never ever change. And you know what, it did. With time, therapy and lots and lots of willingness to work on myself. I still do that work.
I just wanna say, don’t give up. It can and it will get better. so don’t off yourself before it does.
You in therapy? Stable surroundings? Got some good friends? Your DOC is sh, or other things too? Sobriety for me was the cornerstone of building that better life and better relationship with myself.
You’re not alone in being the hurt angry weirdo. Lots of love 
Bless you. Have you looked into therapy? Just wondering it may help.
Thank you sm to the 4/90 people who cared enough to say something… y’all inspire me to be that one person for others when they need it… & I’m not in therapy because I can’t afford therapy and even if I tried to get into it I feel like it’s kind of counterproductive I don’t trust people and I especially don’t trust someone who I have to pay to care about me I know it’s their job but it’s very hard for me to even think about opening up to someone who I don’t feel like really cares
Sorry to read you feeling so bad. I hope writing it here, it felt at least good to get that off your chest. I think people on this forum are more than willing to provide a listening ear, comfort, share experiences, give advice etc.
I think reaching out like you did is a courageous first step. You must have a strong part in you that wants to break the patterns that are making your life miserable at the moment. Doing that alone is very difficult so searching for some guidance is definitely recommended.
If therapy is not affordable for you at the moment, maybe there are free options, like support groups.
Wish you all the best.
Thank you sm
Welcome! So sorry to hear about your troubles. One thing that has helped me in my recovery involves me helping other people. When I truly engage with other people and show them kindness and love, my outlook on life improves. If I am helpful to others (even strangers) my attitude shifts even more.
I hope you can find the resources that will help you. You are loved! 
Thank you so much Phoebe
And self care helps, there’s nothing like a bath or shower, clean clothes and hair.
What’s your plan for the rest of the day? Do something for yourself and someone else to make the world a better place.
Its actually my 22nd birthday so I’ll just be spending it w my bf and family. Had a nice breakfast this morning. Maybe I’ll do some art too
Happy birthday 
Happy birthday!
And i agree self help and self care are great ways to improve mental health. You grow less dependent on others to fulfill your needs. And those mental projections like thinking you are a burden to others will also disappear. And if they really feel that way, which i doubt, than fuck them, you don’t need them.
you know, you got this wrong. a therapist is not someone who pretents to care. it is someone who with their professional knowledge and the safe space they provide (no judgement, they’ve seen and heard it all) lets you experience yourself as who you truly are: all the harmful hateful negative destructive and hurt beliefs and feelings that you hold. thereby giving you the chance to change yourself over time. they won’t do that for you or pretend anything to you. they’ll only allow you to meet yourself, if you are courageous enough to go there, that is.
once the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain (and fear) of change, that is usually a good time window for when that change will be inaugurated, by us.
hope you are having a good, DOC-free day today.
Thank you everyone for your support 
you all truly help more than u know
Happy belated birthday! Here’s to 22 being a better year for you! People in here will have your back. Keep finding the smallest things in life that make you smile. Can you name one?