So when I was 13 I had a “friend” I trusted assaulted me. I broke off all contact with her and blocked her on everything 2 years ago. There was a time in between where I was in such shock that I tried to act like it never happened and we could go back to normal but I couldn’t ignore it. Seeing her everyday was a big trigger for me drinking daily in high school.
Anyways I just got a notification that she followed me. Obviously I blocked her but I’m so worked up from it. First how fucking dare she attempt to interact with me after what she did. Second I have tried so hard to keep her out of my life and it sucks knowing she still found me. Third her profile pic is her face and seeing her face again was just a lot.
I’m gonna do some grounding work and have a nice hot bath to help calm down I just needed to vent. I feel like I’m overreacting but it scared me for a second. Thanks for reading guys
Oh god this is aweful. I’m sorry, Amanda, that you’re going through this, I can imagine how worked up you must be and you are not overreacting! Ground yourself, do soothing and securing things, talk to ppl on here, and take it easy. Sending you love and strenght.
Everything you want to do to feel confortable now Is okey. You are acting on the best way, you are giving yourself a Relief after that uncomfortable moment.
Not overreacting. Good you’re here, good you’re taking care of yourself Amanda. Only logical you got scared, but you are handling this like a pro. Hugs.
I’m sorry for you. Nobody should experience that. I know it’s a big step when you knew someone but did you ever consider getting the law involved somehow? What happened was terrible and shouldn’t go ignored… Considering the psychological harm people like that cause they deserve prison time, if not at least getting a restraining order and their families/friends involved. I know it must be hard, please consider taking some form of legal action to do you justice and so something similar doesn’t maybe happen again to someone else…
Not overreacting at all love. I completely understand this as something similar happened to me. You need to take some time now to understand that you are safe. Take a soothing bath and try to centre yourself again. She can not hurt you anymore. Block her and don’t acknowledge her. Once you feel stronger I would recommend getting a therapist to talk to about all of this. It helped me. I like you went on as if nothing had happened and in some way blamed myself for being raped. I learned through therapy that it was not my fault and that with time and professional help i over came that terrible trauma. Nobody has access to you that you don’t want in your life. You are safe my friend. Maybe take a bit of time off social media for a wee while. Calm your mind. That must of been awful, I’m sending you strength.
I did, when it initially happened. I talked to my school counselor (I was 13 so that was the first adult I felt comfortable talking to). That was awful because she didn’t take me seriously at all, minimized how I felt about it, told me that it was a simple misunderstanding that me and the friend needed to talk out. Also implied that cause I once had a crush on said friend I must have wanted it.
So I shoved all my feelings down and tried to move on, tried to think of it as just a bad hookup not an assault. I didn’t want to think that she could do that to me.
The next person I told was a mental health professional who ran an anxiety group therapy I was in. She also didn’t take me seriously, even saying “at least it wasn’t some random guy behind a dumpster”. So I ignored it all over again. This is also when I stated drinking on a near daily basis.
I wanted to do something about it but because no one thought it was that bad, I didn’t think anyone would listen. If a therapist didn’t why would the cops. And it’s been years now, it’ll be a “a says one thing, b says another” and there’s no evidence for or against it happening. There’s not much I can do now, legally speaking.
I can totally relate to you. I have had that happen a lot in my life. My parents were drug addicts and were not around the best people in their addiction. I had bad things happen to me as a small child and then when i grew older it kind of warped how i saw relationships and people. So needless to say i would trust the wrong people when i shouldnt have and didnt trust the right people because when i would go to them i felt like i was getting the same reaction like it didnt mean anything or i would feel like i deserved it. The last time something like that happened to me did a real number on me. Like recently i woke up from a nightmare screaming and crying. I dont know what your beliefs are but i believe in God and the best thing for me is to go to God with it and pray through it and fortunately enough for me i have a real good church family that is there for me when i need them. So i just want you to know that I can relate
I had shit happen as a kid. That friend was actually the first person I talked to about my childhood trauma. And she took advantage of me 2 weeks after I opened up to her
I’m in therapy now but it’s still so hard to open up to people sometimes. It’s exhausting having my guard up all the time but I don’t know how else to be
Amanda it’s not your fault! & I’m not of the opinion something like that should ever just be brushed under the carpet, it takes a conscious heart to process, nevermind learn to open up about. I’m shocked at how dismissive they were of a sexual assault case?! They shouldn’t be in such positions if they’re not wholeheartedly there for a victim in need opening up… You are loved here! I know you should still have the right to have a restraining order put on them, which means they’re legally restricted from contacting you or your inner circle or getting too close to you or your home, maybe see what you can do there
I am proud of you for taking immediate action to secure your boundaries. And for immediately starting to reground yourself while reaching out. That is very healthy behavior. Well done!
Well I know how it feels to not feel like you can open up to anyone. Sometimes places like this are the best way to get it out and be honest about it. Just keep yourself as safe as humanly possible. I think blocking people like that are a good thing. I had to do that to a couple people. I even went as far as taking a hiatus from social media for a little over a year and once it felt safe to be back on social media i blocked those couple of people before they even had the opportunity to try to talk to me.
Update: She tried to contact me again Tuesday night. I have her blocked on everything and she changed her number and texted me again. I blocked her again but holy shit it’s been 6 years since the assault happened, you’d think she’d leave me alone at this point. She’s so persistent it’s terrifying. I went to the cops and they said I can’t get a restraining order cause there’s no “evidence of wrongdoing” and there’s no proof the assault took place. So that didn’t work. I could get a lawyer and try to sort all this out but it’s gonna be a huge uphill battle and I don’t have the time or energy or money for that.
Back in 2016 when it first happened, it was the event that made my ptsd go from bad to worse. It’s what threw me into a downward spiral and led to me doing heroin for the first time. And honestly drugs sound great rn but I’m not going to relapse cause she’s not worth losing the progress over.
I’m kinda ok now but I’m still super shaken up. I just had to get all this out somewhere yknow.
Nobody should experience that. I know it’s a big step when you knew someone but did you ever consider getting the law involved somehow? What happened was terrible and shouldn’t go ignored… Considering the psychological harm people like that cause they deserve prison time, if not at least getting a restraining order and their families/friends involved. I know it must be hard, please consider taking some form of legal action to do you justice and so something similar doesn’t maybe happen again to someone else… 
I know you should still have the right to have a restraining order put on them, which means they’re legally restricted from contacting you or your inner circle or getting too close to you or your home, maybe see what you can do there 