I am new here coming up on 3 days of sobriety from weed. My situation is like many where I started in my 20s and only stopped for months at a time. I was a daily heavy smoker and it made coming off of weed much harder. I know it’s not nearly as bad as other drugs, but there is still some night sweats, restlessness, and anxiety.
During one of my sober periods in 2019, I met the women who would become my wife. We fell quickly in love and haven’t left each other’s sides since. All was well until I used weed on my birthday and kicked off the nasty spiral back into addiction.
Rather than confess, I hid it, and ultimately she found a vape pen months later. I was ashamed and got sober again for many months until I ultimately used again. My “excuse” was the stress of putting my dog down was too much to handle and I would just use once for a release. It wasn’t just once and I literally dropped a vape pen in front of her. I was so bad off I needed a vape in my pocket just to pick my car up from getting tires. It’s honestly pathetic looking back. She had already been suspicious and didn’t want to confront me. That relapse has now spiraled into a miserable situation that I’ve created for my marriage. I have lost her trust and goodwill.
Being sober for almost 3 days makes you very aware of how selfish and destructive the addiction is. The is not something I want to lose my wife over. Weed will not give me the long term fulfillment and gratification that I need in my life.
For me, the pain in my wife’s face and the feeling in our house has been my rock bottom. I am committed to getting sober for myself, but my hope is that along the way I can earn some trust back.
I’m terrified for what my future holds, but also hopeful for what my sobriety will bring. This community has honestly been a godsend and it is so encouraging to know that others are having similar struggles. I’m in for the long haul, so you should be seeing my username more often.
Good for you. I have been sober from weed for 7 months. It’s not scary at all. I smoked everyday for 20 years, and I gotta tell you that it’s all worth it. I can pass a drug test, I am saving way more money than I possibly could. I’m more energetic and eager to do more things. I am free from the paranoia and more alert. I’m telling you that 3 days in is a helluva great thing…Keep it up and stay positive. Your wife will be more understanding if you open up your feelings and emotions…I talk to my husband like he a therapist. But, he honestly understands my bad moments more now than some stupid excuse to smoke. You definitely don’t have to be worried, be worthy! God Blessings
Thank you for the encouragement! Getting to 3 days was tough physically, but things are already significantly better.
I am still slightly fearful, not of being sober, but of the damage I’ve done to my marriage. Seeing your comment about talking things through with your husband really spoke to me. Looking back, it would’ve been much easier to confess, “I’m not feeling myself” before any damage was done, or just talked about what was bothering me.
I do love her very much! She is truthfully the best thing to ever happen to me.
This is maybe the biggest thing I’ve been struggling with mentally. I’m with the love of my life, why would I do something so hurtful?
I initially compartmentalized it as “a shameful problem that I need to solve myself”, while willfully ignoring the lying and deceit used for me to continue smoking.
My takeaway has been, healing myself is going to be the best way to heal our marriage. I have to show her I’m committed to getting better and that I want her along my side.
Addiction is clever like that we’re always comparing ourself to the next person.
This is your addiction, you are doing something against your own better judgement and are powerless over it. It dictates to you the terms of your life and asks for your 100% undivided attention.
Don’t under estimate the power of addiction or your gonna be selling yourself short, your gonna need the same resolve, mental / spiritual shift / attitude from the person quitting coffee to the person quitting crack cocaine.
Some side effects may be different but mentally we’re all in this together.
Well done and I wish you well on your journey.
A synonym of love is truth. You wife deserves that the most! Talk to her and let your emotions go. The communication is the best.