Hi everyone im kurt 29 years old, in 2021 and years before that i was addicted to coke, last year in 2022 i went cold turkey quit smoking and quit coke,weed and did it without support i got myself to the gym everyday i got myself to boxing 3 days a week its fair to say i was smashing it.
This year however my world and my progress got ripped away on January 17th i found my partner she had committed suicide things was amazing between us and its left me with so many unanswered questions, 5 days after my girl had passed my mum went into hospital having a seizure, in February we got told my mum wouldnt be coming out of hospital with lung cancer what spread to the brain and killed her on the 14th march, it dont stop their either the 6th April my step dad hung himself, with everything whats happened ive been hitting the coke so hard this year and its taken over worse then ever i dont want to keep going down this road cause o know im better then that im just in so much pain, 5th June i told my siblings im hooked again i had what i hope to be my last bag of coke last night and got this app, today ive contacted the drug team and got my first appointment this friday.
I feel its a long wait till then can anyone give me any tips to keep focused till then i dont want to be like this anymore but i cant do it alone
Thankyou for reading.
Im so sorry for all that you have lost. That is very tough to deal with. I havent been sober very long so i dont feel i have much experience to help but i do know that going to AA meetings does help with gaining a sense of community and support wich you might need. Just try it, you might be surprised. Wishing you all the best and hoping you stay strong.
Thankyou it has been so tough trying to accept everything whats happened and come to terms with it, im unsure of how to find these though as this is my first time reaching out.
Try changing your perspective. Instead of letting these external negative experiences cause you pain and grief, find the lesson. There is always a lesson. Looking back, instead of recognizing all the pain associated with these negative things, recognize how far you have come, how strong you are for making it this far IN LIFE!!! Also realize you are not these thoughts, but the cognitive being having them, discern whether its healthy to dwell there, and leave them alone if they aren’t.
Also you already have an idea of the direction you want to go! Put those intentions into action!!! Day by day, everytime your body calls for negative input (cocaine) give yourself something positive. Something else that makes you feel good, ice cream ???
Thankyou for advice buddy il defiently try and give it ago thats for sure i feel i know what to do its actually doing it whats the hardest bit for me, ive been told im always to hard on myself to thankyou mate
Welcome @Mowgli_93 I am so sorry for all that you have gone through, so much sorrow I’m sending love and prayers to you and your family. Well done on recognising that staying on the path of addiction will only lead to your end. It takes real strength to accept that enough is enough. Stay on here with us. We are all fighting this fight together, this place is my only sober support and I really don’t know what I would do without it!?! I come here every day. There is always someone on here to offer support 24/7….lean on us my friend I wish you all the best and look forward to seeing you around here. Stay strong and take it one step at a time.
All power to you, i cant offer much in the way of advice but the fact your here must be a good start! You’ve been through a lot and i sincerely wish you all the best.
Thankyou i know im only failing the ones ive lost if i keep going but it jusr numbs my pain ive my first meeting with the drugs team friday i just hope i dont cave in to ote in thw meantime, im glad i got this app everyone seems nice thankyou for your kind words
How are you doing now? Try to be gentle with yourself. You have been through so much your body has to slowly start to repair. Take it a minute at a time if need be. Just don’t pick up today. Then tomorrow do the same. Small steady steps. A nice warm shower. A soft drink or decaffeinated tea/coffee. Take a minute to just breathe. You got this… you are not alone!!!
Hey, Kurt - I’m so sorry about everything that’s happened to you and your loved ones. It’s a really tough load to carry.
It’s really important to be your best friend right now, and to be kind to yourself - to understand that none of us come to terms with stuff this heavy quickly. Our minds revisit it in short bursts, then mentally shut it down when it gets too much, until we feel ready to take a peek in again. We all feel awful while we’re in it - we cry, and mostly feel like we’re being ripped apart. But then we close the door on it again, until we feel like taking another look at it.
I think this is the toughest thing to do sober, as our emotions are just in every part of our body. But it’s this process that inches us towards some kind of a resolution, even if that resolution doesn’t hold many answers, just acceptance.
I let go of other drugs and smoking a while ago now, but replaced them with some very heavy drinking. I’m only on day 3 of quitting alcohol, and some “issues” I’ve dealt with during the day, I’ve numbed with booze at night. But i just don’t want to kill myself with alcohol anymore, and leave my daughter with the unanswered questions I have myself. I’m beginning to accept that I most likely won’t get answers to a lot of stuff.
I’m brand new to this group too, and for me it’s a day at a time.
I’ve got a couple of books on alcohol addiction that I’m reading, but I thought it was time I started talking to other people who are also walking down this road. And it’s such a relief to know I’m not unique in my relationship with alcohol - there’s great support here.
Hang on in there, Kurt. You can do this, and Friday will come as fast as all the other Fridays. And like Joker says above, go get some ice cream - treat yourself!
I was reading this pretty cool guy’s story last night:
???
i feel i know what to do its actually doing it whats the hardest bit for me, ive been told im always to hard on myself to thankyou mate
I wish you all the best and look forward to seeing you around here. Stay strong and take it one step at a time. 
ive my first meeting with the drugs team friday i just hope i dont cave in to ote in thw meantime, im glad i got this app everyone seems nice thankyou for your kind words