My short story

My problems started with using amphetamines, speed and cocaine. At first everything was great. I was active at many fields, like work, rock concerts, psychedelic parties and festivals etc. I was limitless. Got two promotins at work, I was called best employe in the company. My salary was increased a couple of times, but nobody knew that i was boosting myself with powder. With great power comes great responsibility. I was responsible for a lot of people at work. Great projects depended on me. I was using stimulants like candy and I liked it. My real problem started when one of my close friends started to sell drugs. He had the best drugs available. I litteraly had free and high quality drugs. I was using like crazy. I was using occasionaly all possible drugs like LSD, molly, DMT, Amphetamines, baloons, changa, Nbome, E’s, benzos, marijuana and shrooms. Even tried H twice.
After a year l had a great tolerance. And started drinking strong beverages. Like a bottle of whiskey or a 20 beers. Hangovers started to get real. My brain started to feel tired and i had constant feeling like my brain was inflamed. Insomnia was killing me. After a year and a half of hard daily binge i quit cold turkey and stayed clean for 90 days. It was great until i relapse and keep on using amphetamines and cocaine for a year.
Last couple of months I have lots of brain zaps, impaired speach, problems with motoric skills, memmory problems, ED. Problems with work, avoided lots of trafic accidents. My life is a disaster. Lost a lots of dear friends.
But now im dedicated to stay sober.
Im clean 22 days.
I am avoiding all my feÄşl friends that can triger my addiction. I cannot live my life in a mess and mental chaos anymore.
I went to a doctor my vital organs are not damaged and I just hope my brain zaps and brain fog will be gone.
Nobody knows about my almost three year addiction except you guys and my imaginary shadow people.
Thanks for the support and sry for my poor english. Its not my native.

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A warm welcome @AcidArhitect. It’s a great step you’ve done to come here and tell us about your addiction. I can relate to you… Enough is enough and one day I also told myself I’m just tired of all this bullshit. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s great you decided to break through. I can just tell you: come here often. Ask a lot. And just fight for today. That’s all we have. One day at a time
By the way my addiction is alcohol… But no matter what addiction it is our brains are the same…

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Dude, just stop.

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Hi and I’m so glad you get a chance to explore this loving community,stick around get comftable this time is for you.xx

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Hi new friend. Don’t mind me being rude on your thread. Welcome to our family!

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You were sticking up for the OP.

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Absolutely! Just didn’t want to derail.

@AcidArhitect, I hope you find this place as helpful as I do. It’s been an absolute life saver for me!

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Thanks for good words and support. Ive just said NO to a friend that offered me some shrooms and marijuana. My PAWS are hard but I will survive. Ive eaten today two bars of chocolate, eventho im on strict microbiotic diet. But better to eat chocolate to maintein my stress, than anything else. :ghost:
Day 24 is going strong.

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Man, this sounds serious. Reading your story is giving me anxiety, from the sheer volume of what you were doing. :flushed: It must take incredible strenght to stay clean and sober now, I’m admiring the hell out of you atm! Keep on doing what you’re doing and keep building up mental strenght as well as practices to avoid temptation. Cutting out ppl, going to the doc, coming on here, eating chocolates, are all great things, maybe pick up excercising, journalling, reading, going to meetings, practice awareness, listening to podcasts can also help you… Wish you good luck and more of the perserevance you’ve already shown! You can do this! Stay strong!

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Thanks for the positive talk.
Acutally i dont have hard time to stay clean. Benefits of being thinking with clear mind are bigger than being fake self confident. I can think right now and thats what gives me strenght. My biggest obsticle are my friends becouse everybody is using something like booze, weed, cocaine and different types of drugs. That can trigger my crawings sometimes but as I said before i gain more from sobriety than as an addict… I am avoiding them as much as I can.
I hope my brain zapps will calm down. Im thinking of doing brain MRI scan, but im afraid of the possible results… cuz I can feel that i might have some perma mental damage. Its scarry and gives me anxiety.

Yes, better chocolate any day!

Keep your head up, man. Hopefully the brain zaps go away soon. I know some people who have come off of antidepressant medication and has that effect for a little while. It didn’t last forever. Maybe it will go away with the PAWS. Either way, a doctor will know best.

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