Hello all, I am Darya, I’m 23 (24 in a couple weeks) and I am an alcoholic and drug addict. I am 12 days sober from alcohol, 27 days sober from cocaine, and about a year sober from crack.
My history of addictions began at 14 with smoking weed. Weed can be great for some people, but definitely not everyone. By 15-16, I was taking a bong rip every 20-45 minutes. I was in high school so I couldn’t smoke while there but I’d often bring edibles and go home for lunch to smoke. At 16 while on a trip, I tried coke and molly for the first time. Molly was fun but I never really had a problem with it. Coke on the other hand, instant addiction. I wasn’t able to get it where I lived (tiny, rural town, fly-in only type situation). So every time I would travel, I’d bring some back with me. At 18, I moved away for college and it was the worst choice I ever made. I had taken a year off after high school so I had quite a bit saved up. Pretty quickly, I was using coke daily and frequently. I was out of money by Christmas time. I started working to afford it and kept using heavily. My performance in college and my general mental state got so bad that I dropped out. At this point, I started doing questionable things for money (think SW) and it was a very dark time in my life. After some time I stopped doing that and just got a job. For a couple years, I just worked and spent all the money on alcohol and blow. Some time later, I switched to crack. I had tried it multiple times previous to this but never really liked it, but this time I got a hit so good that I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t able using crack all day every day through a summer and just kind of woke up one day and saw what it was doing to me. I wasn’t interacting with any friends anymore like i used to, i wasn’t taking care of myself, my cat was being neglected. it had completely taken over my life and so i quit right then. i threw all my junk i used for it in the garbage. it was hard and the withdrawals sucked but it was so worth it. At that point I also decided to quit coke but since then i’ve had many relapses that while they are for just one night, or as little as a single line and nothing else, are relapses all the same.
For the past few years, I have been drinking a lot. This past year or maybe even past 2 years, I don’t think I’d gone more than 3 days without a drink. But here I am today, 12 days sober from it. I already feel so much better. I feel so much less brain fog. I feel so much more present, alive even. Sobriety is truly a blessing and I am grateful for this second chance. I cannot wait to be able to reach a full year and the multiple years. Thank you to everyone who read this far, I appreciate your time. 