I had to restart my count yesterday as I relapsed, receive an email from work about a grievance one of my employees put against me. This grievance is bullshit, but it’s serious enough that I may lose my job.
On top of other things I’m dealing with this hit me hard and I found comfort in several lines, of course I regretted it the next day. My grievance meeting takes place this coming Wednesday I cannot control that but I will try and control the urge to do cocaine.
Im glad ur back. Im sorry to hear about ur relapse tho. Sounds like there was alot going on 
Sending u strength to get thru this and your grievance meeting this wednesday
Thank you, there so much happening at the moment all I want to do is lose myself, but I do that I will be restarti g from zero again and again and again.
I may not be happy at the moment but I do deserve happiness, I’m no Saint but I’m not a vindictive person, I try my best.
Day 2 of being coke free, I having headaches, I feel tired, I’m sleeping more, I have no enthusiasm to do anything. I feel lost, numb, lonely there not really anyone I can talk to. I feel depressed, I’ve been feeling depressed for quite some time. I can’t really talk to anyone in regards to my addiction that’s why I use this and another app to express how I feel, plus journaling seem to help.
Today, I want to make it day 3 of being coke free. I want to understand my triggers more and try not to be stressed today.
It’s hard, but you can do it, I’m back on day 1 myself of alcohol and cocaine, haven’t been to work for my last 3 shifts, as I’ve got no motavation, and spent all my money feeling somwhat crap, my partner manages to work and drink and stuff, dosnt affect him, we can keep trying, and you aren’t alone, stay on here we can do this