I went from 17 year old with an Q5 enlistment contract in the Marine Corps to a 22 year old with no will to live and no hope of making anything of myself.
I had a very light weed habit and I chewed going into graduation. Stress, sleep and eating. Basic stupid reasons for having an addiction. I quit weed the day I swore in. And about a year later, four months before shipping, I got disqualified for service because of pre-existing medical conditions that was discovered after an injury in DEP. It was a back condition, without going into detail.
Immediately I went back to weed, switched from chew to black and milds and started making one bad decision after another. Fast forward almost 5 years, and the only highlight in my life is a girlfriend who can’t seem to just give up.
I need weed to function throughout the day, from eating to focusing to sleeping. I switched to vapes for more nicotine and less smell (gf) and now I need those to not regularly assault people around me. Through partying and contacts I started drinking four or five times a week. A lot of bars and clubs around here know me by name, I’m always in there. And with that scene came a mess of psychedelics, pills, stupid mixes and my personal vice cocaine.
It took me absolutely no time at all to realize all that fun I had on coke last night could be had at work as well. I’ve lost jobs, missed payments, lost friends and property just for some fucking white powder.
As I said. I’m 22. Close to 50k in debt. I’ve been in three ambulances for false alarms related to coke. I’ve been in gruesome fights from the lack of some stupid vice. And after all this. I’m just done. I’ve resorted to any help I can get. I wasn’t gonna post but after two days I relapsed on literally everything. I drank and bumped last night. Smoked everything I could today. I need all the help I can get. Between Insomnia, Adhd, anxiety and depression, I don’t know whats me and what’s a chemical anymore. Any support is welcome. Thanks for letting me waste your time
Welcome, I’m glad you’re here. 
That’s awesome that you’re doing this at your age, what a gift to give yourself!
See you around!
Welcome!
That is a dark story of running into the darkness of drugs to avoid life. It’s a heavy, regretful story.
You have the power to change it.
You will need help. NA, AA, would help; stay on here and keep checking in, there’s threads for just about anything.
You belong in your life, clean and clear. You can have it. It is a choice you make every day, and put in work every day to build it, strengthen it, and the rewards are worth it.
Hi and welcome. Can I just say that you have not wasted our time by posting here. NEVER a waste of our time. This is what we are here for - to listen and support one another.
I agree with @Matt above that AA and or NA maybe be able to offer some additonal in person support and guidance for you.
Also do you have access to a GP that you can discuss the insomnia, ADHD, anxiety and depression with? They may also be able to refer you to additional support such as an IOP (intensive outpatient program). Its much too hard to tackle recovery on our own - reach out and grab whatever supports are available to you.
Oh, the honesty in your post! My heart aches for you, for what you are going through. But I echo the others. At 22, you are achingly honest and not denying the truth in front of you! I see you, your potential. Get to your doctor, or as @Becsta said, a mtg with AA/NA.
Life is too precious. Yours too. 
You haven’t wasted my time at all! Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate to some of it, coke was my very first drug of choice and I remember how helpless and powerless I felt when I realized I couldn’t stop. No matter what, when it called I answered. I’m not sure where in the world you are but CA (cocaine anonymous) and NA (narcotics anonymous) have helped me tremendously. 12 step programs aren’t for everyone! But if you’re ever feeling like you don’t know what to do, it might help. Keep reaching out! Recovery is a we program, not a me program. We can’t do this alone. Thank you for posting 
Peace, strength and hope to you
Thank you for posting - ditto what others already mentioned: you are 22 and honest with yourself, knowing this has to stop now…and have the self awareness that you cannot do it alone. Tip of the hat to you, my friend. 
I wish I had had this clarity in my mind much, much earlier in my life.
I can tell you that a lot of it is caused by the substances that you’re using, in a vicious cycle (literally). If there is an underlying condition (depression), it is certainly worsened by the substances. Removing the substances will be a massive help in identifying what is really going on and being able to address it.
I’m at day 92 AF. Day 1 happened because I had a full blown panick attack and thought I was not going to survive the night before. It was horrendous. My hands cramped, my heart thumped, my legs didn’t work, I think it was close to a seizure. 10 days later, I can’t begin to tell you the relief and gratitude I had from a calm heart and clear mind.
Welcome to the forum - we’re here to support you along the way.
You are not wasting anyone’s time here. We are glad you are HERE. You are a Big Person for standing up and saying “I have a drug and alcohol problem”. That’s a huge accomplishment. There are so many people that can’t admit they need help or have drug and alcohol problems. I have done all the things you’ve done, except for one. At 22 I was doing everything but admitting I had a problem, and I did have a problem. Get sober right now while you’ve got so many more years ahead of you. Don’t wait until half of your life is over and decide its time to make changes, like me. Do it now and live a happy fulfilled life. I promise you won’t be sorry!! You have come to the right place. Watch those sober days go up every single day and I promise you will start to feel better with every single day. Sure, there will be hard days, and when you make it through those hard days you’ll be incredibly proud when you wake up clean and sober the next day! You’ve made the 1st big step, keep pushing forward. You got this!!
I can’t even wrap my head around how many people took the time to reach out. Thanks to everyone. I’m looking into the resources now but I’m refusing medication. I’ll take the support of people before I fix one drug problem with another. I’m brutally honest, because I’ve had this conversation too many times with myself. Only so many times you can talk yourself out of “having a problem”. I teared up that this community cares so much. My little clocks are still running and my hopes are high. The brute force mindset to quitting has a really motivating appeal to me. It works to think it’s this or nothing. Discomfort of a detox over the pain of regret. Thanks again for all the support. To think I tried doing this alone so many times
Doesn’t seem like an option for me. I have to work, if I stop to try to focus on me I’ll end up even further behind. My apartment, my job and friends aren’t gonna wait for me to get my shit together. And that reminder is motivating too
Thanks and Congrats on your openness. We are all in the same boat and I understand where you’re at, I’ve been there. Going on 8 months sober in Recovery is a daily reprieve. By the Grace of God, When I got honest with myself and went to rehab I found out that being in Recovery is the solution. Amazing things have happened all because of my Sobriety. The 12 step program restored me from a hopeless state of mind. Although this chronic illness has no cure. So I have to be aware that by me being an addict, I have to treat this disease by going any length. If I want to stay sober , I have to do what is necessary for my recovery like going to meetings, working with my sponsor and sponsees , and focusing on my goals in life. Recognizing I have a problem was the first step to recovery.