Good afternoon. I want to thank y’all for the warm welcome. Now I want to share a little bit about myself.
I was born and raised in Nashville, TN and am the oldest of 3 sisters. I’m married to a wonderful man, and I’m a first time SAHM of a beautiful 20 month old daughter Luna Rose. She will be 2 October 30th, and I love her more than life itself.
I’m here because I was curious about the community and looking for friends and accountability partners. I had my first sip of alcohol when I was 18. At the time I was a whiskey girl, preferably Bushmills, or Jameson. I still like whiskey but I realize more that aging lowers your ability to metabolize alcohol faster; my tolerance has lowered a bit as well.
These days, it’s just wine or hard seltzers for me, even then I have to try hard to be more mindful of how much I drink and when to stop. In the past I’d go on binges 1-2 weeks at a time and would go back to my normal consumption for a few months. If I go past the point to where I’m opening the second or third bottle of wine, things tend to go south quickly. I’d lose sight of who I am, my husband becomes concerned and uneasy and he’d go into the guest room to sleep for the night. Then I’d wake up feeling very guilty and sad about the night before all while nursing a hangover.
My therapist said that I needed rehab but I don’t think I do. He thinks if I stop on my own it could be fatal. I told him I don’t think that I’m dependent on alcohol, I think it’s the amount that I can consume and not knowing my limits. I think it’s the pleasure seeking for me.
I grew up in a family of drinkers on both sides of my family. All I want to do is break the cycle. Easier said than done when you want to just quit drinking for a week, or a month…but you start thinking about wanting to drink after only 2-3 days of sobriety. I find myself constantly going back and pushing the reset button.
I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts/advice about this post. Thank you for reading. Happy Monday.
I feel like if professionals are telling you to seek treatment you should probably listen. There’s a reason they are experts and we are not. Our best thinking got us into this mess, let someone else’s thinking get ya out of it
Welcome. I’m not a professional, but I am a problem drinker, alcoholic…call it what you will. It is the illness and associated behavior that is my problem. Five things in your post jump out at me…
second or third bottle of wine, things tend to go south quickly. I’d lose sight of who I am
your husband is concerned about your drinking
thinking about wanting to drink after only 2-3 days of sobriety.
Your therapist thinks you need rehab
You come from a family of drinkers
You seem to be at that point when you know in your gut that your drinking is out of control (at times). And wouldn’t it be great if you could control it? Welllll…typically it doesn’t work that way. I think it is time to develop a plan for stopping. Your baby doesn’t need a Mom who drinks too much.
Oh, six things…you are here. I wish you well. This site has been the difference for me.
This could be your rock bottom, the point were you start to take responsibility for your current situation. A professional thinks you need help, but you still seem to have your caveat. From own experience and other’s it is hard, as an alcoholic, to get past 2-3 days sober without medical supervision.
Not getting past 2-3 days indicates a certain dependency to alcohol, which you disagree upon. If you were not depending on it you should manage 2-3 days easily or any other timeframe.
It’s up to you, your worth a sober life, just as your child deserves a sober mother.
Lots to unpack here, this stuck out to me. Reminds me of me at a time when I knew I had a drinking problem.
Nasty hangovers motivated me to quit, and the problem with that is, if hangovers are your motivation to quit, you’re only motivated when you’re hungover. After the hangover is gone, so is the motivation.
You also mentioned several negative consequences of your drinking, what are the positives? What does drinking provide you that nothing else can? Moreover, what (if any) are the positive outcomes from drinking that are worth suffering the negative consequences?
This was something I thought about. For me, I couldn’t come up with one positive outcome that was worth the hangover, the upset spouse, disappointed kids, the DUI, the blackout arguement, the random injuries, the empty calories and cost to my wallet and health. If nothing was worth that, then why was I doing it, over and over? Was not logical.
What was logical was that I was doing it because I was addicted, an alcoholic. Only then did it make perfect sense, and only then could I begin to heal and start recovery.
Time to have a good long look at yourself and your relationship with alcohol.
This sounds just like me several years ago. Thought all I really needed to do was learn how to moderate my drinking and everything would be OK. I even joined a website called Moderation Management. Lots of support there and lots of people struggling to moderate.
When I told my therapist I was trying that approach, she said , “if you’re drinking, and thinking about drinking and planning your drinking, that’s all part of addiction!” Well, I didn’t want to believe it.
The subsequent years were a roller coaster ride of quitting altogether, for several months at a crack at times, then thinking I had learned my lesson, and going right back to it. This evolved into cycles of several weeks of sobriety then drinking moderately, deteriorating into a binge, then Quitting for several days at time, then drinking moderately, then a binge, then quitting for couple days, and drinking, IT WAS EXHAUSTING!!!
Just wanted to share my thoughts with you, and wish you well .
Everyone here has shared good advice. Im taking all of the advice into consideration, but at the same time considering a few other recovery options out there.
I’m thinking that I’ll try the holistic approach. I’m considering CBD therapy, trying other herbal supplements like St. John’s Wort and/or ashwagandha, increasing my B vitamins, etc.