first of all - thank you very much for everything you did for me, honestly - I really do appreciate the postings, the time you’ve spend on my concerns and so on … this forum rocks! Sorry for my english, I’m not a native speaker …
I’d like to share my story, there are so many ppl which inspired me to release something which is really heavy. I am on a 3 year binge, 7 days clean now and feeling really strong to share this. My life is a rollercoaster and I want to make it clear: please don’t judge me upon the things you are going to hear, it’s really weird. So, I grew up in a really comfy home and got everything you could imagine. My parents weren’t rich at all, but tried to make it happen. I am 6,5" and got into the model business really quick, spend years in shootings, jobs and so on, married early (22 years old), bought 3 houses, couple cars, bikes and so on. My ex-wife once said that she had enough of this “thrill” and wanted to live a quiet life, got divorced years later and left me with nothing! We had no marriage settlement and I’ve lost everything. But fakk that - what’s really bothered me … she left me, because of … nothing. I wasn’t cheating on her or anything like that, I think in retrospect, that she was bored AF. Whatever, from that point on I was on a constant drug use, alcohol, coke, pills - anything I could my hands on. I just wanted to numb myself to the point where I pass out, for 3 years non-stop.
Just wanted to stay high, not thinking of her and missing her … I kept her off my mind with drug abuse, which isn’t cool at all … I laughed so hard just to forget her and it hurts so bad, after all these years. Silence is death - I have to “hear” anything to keep her off my mind, I hope this isn’t to weird, but really - I did everything to forget her.
For the first time I feel liberated and I just want to share a quick insight of my life, thank you very much for your support!
That’s different so she wishes to have a simplier life yet took all your money? Hmmmmm… (ive pressed send prematurely) Thank you for sharing your story, divorce is never easy. How are you feeling now!! Congrats on being sober x
Thanks for the share! There are some truths that can cause us to go off the rails, especially when you don’t understand what our minds and substance abuse do us. Here a visual model of what kind of happens. This made me look at things differently.
Hi, thanks for your share Andy. I was in a relationship with my significant other for many years. I knew the second week of living together that I needed to end the relationship with him. But I didn’t. I allowed myself to fall deeply madly in love with him, forgetting myself in the process and all about my sobriety. Finally him and I became engaged. I had a relapse years prior to our engagement. We became completely and utterly co-dependent on one another to the point that we were completely miserable. It got so bad that the only time that we were completely and genuinely happy with one another was when we were under the influence of hard drugs or completely drunk. We lost everything, our house, our cars, our jobs, our clothing, all of our belongings, all our money, gone. but I still couldn’t let go of him. Finally he did us both a favor. I walked over to the public library since I had no car, to send out my resume to get another job because I couldn’t hold one down. It was the day after my birthday. When I returned home he was gone. This was six years ago and to this day I have never seen him again. It was by far one of the most horrible experiences of my life. I felt like a part of my soul had been ripped out and that it was never going to be possible to fill that emptiness ever again. I continued my drug use and it got heavier and heavier until the only way to get drugs was to sell myself. It took about two years before I was ready and willing to get some help. I finally got sober and begin to forgive myself. One day out of the blue The Emptiness inside of me I realized was gone. I was going to be ok. Ok without him, and ok without the drugs. The reason why I say all of this is that I had to get sober in order for me to be able to grieve and feel the loss of my fiance. I Believe In My Heart that you too will find the peace and serenity that you deserve as a man by doing exactly what you are doing right now. You’re getting sober. Now you will be able to feel again and trust me it will be uncomfortable at first. But the payoff is genuine happiness and sobriety. So congratulations on your 7 days and for sharing this with me and with others. Keep talking about it, surround yourself with others that love and care about Andy. And…do whatever it takes to stay sober.
Wow, this hit me really deep - Thank you so much for this epic post I will continue with my journey, it was so good to let it all out, so thank you very much!
so she wishes to have a simplier life yet took all your money? Hmmmmm… (ive pressed send prematurely) Thank you for sharing your story, divorce is never easy. How are you feeling now!! Congrats on being sober x
I will continue with my journey, it was so good to let it all out, so thank you very much!