Hello all, new to SoberTime but happy to be here. This is my story of my struggles with pornography. Unfortunately like many men it started when I was young. I remember when I was about 12 years old in peewee football, one of my teammates showed me a video of pornography on his phone before football practice. Curious I started doing searching at home on my home computer. I started to become obsessed with it. I would count down days until I was home alone to watch it. Fast forward to college where I would watch it everyday in the private showers. It ruined my self confidence and made me depressed. Luckily I was able to graduate with a degree I had no idea what to do with. I was able to land a laboratory job with my university and was able to afford to rent a cheap one bedroom apartment near the university. Unfortunately I was watching pornography and masturbating to it every single day. I hated my job and I made very little money. I decided I needed to at least quit watching porn to get my life back on track. I eventually decided to leave my job and found a better lab job with my friend and doubled my salary. I was able to get a girlfriend and I love her so much. She motivates me every day to change for the better. I have been able to stop watching that stuff for long periods of time but will relapse on occasion. I am still proud of those long streaks where I abstain from watching that. I donât want to to control me and Iâm not going to let it. So here I am to learn about addiction and to connect with people who also may be struggling with this. As of writing this I am currently on day 9 of abstaining from watching pornography but I hope to reach 30 days. That will be my longest time without watching that stuff. Anyways, like I said Iâm happy to be here. Have a good day everybody. 
Welcome to the forum @Bejing3333
Im glad youâre on the path to being free 
Welcome @Bejing3333 
My name is Matt and I am recovering from an addiction to lust which for me, on the surface, showed up as masturbation and porn-watching. As I have worked on my sobriety and gained understanding and insight, I began to realize the addiction has its roots deeper than the surface behaviours.
It is a pernicious addiction because of how easy it is to rationalize it with ideas like âeveryone has these urgesâ, âitâs only naturalâ, etc etc. The hell it is - losing days and weeks to porn binges and missing work isnât natural at all.
Thereâs lots of stories here on Talking Sober - if you search âpornographyâ, âpornâ, âPMOâ, âsex addictionâ, and related terms you will find many posts - and there are resources too: Neal posted a list here (Resources for our recovery - #64 by NealRecoveryCA).
For me my recovery journey started in 2019 when I first reached out for help. I searched âsex addiction [city name]â for my city and attended group sessions at a sex addiction clinic here. In 2023 I joined a Sexaholics Anonymous group (www.SA.org). Participation in that group and specifically following the daily sobriety tasks my sponsor assigned me have had a transformative effect on me internally, and the ongoing recovery work Iâm doing has removed the desire to âact outâ. It is a freedom I never knew before.
Welcome to Talking Sober!
Welcome.
There are many of us that struggle with this addiction.
It should have actually been banned a long time ago.
Itâs pure evil and no good comes from it.
Itâs good that we realize it for what it is and are working to get better and to move away from it.
Good on you and wishing you all the best in your sobriety journey.
Thank you for sharing your story! I am pulling for you to succeed, and to reach 30 days and well beyondâŚ
I have struggled with porn & masturbation to orgasm (PMO) for decades. It has greatly strained all of my relationships, almost ruined my marriage, and stripped me of all self esteem. I even give PMO âcreditâ for hindering all of my efforts to succeed at business in lifeâŚ
Good on you, for making the decision to quit, and for seeking the support of this community. Letâs discover our freedom together!