A lot of people think my addiction began when I was in a bad car accident but it began before that. In high school I started experimenting with drugs. But experimenting gradually turned into a full-blown addiction. I was doing ecstasy and oxycontin 80s non-stop. At this time I was in denial that I was even an addict. Even though when I tried to stop taking them I went into full-blown withdrawal but at this time I didn’t even know what withdrawal really was. I just thought I had a virus or something.
Once I went into college, I would get high occasionally but not like I was in HS. I was able to control it, do something here and there. Once I graduated college I was sober for two years then I was t-boned in the middle of an intersection. That car accident forever changed my life.
My my kneecap was fractured , I tore my meniscus and had broken ribs. Anyone who has ever been in a car accident knows how this story goes… The doctor prescribed me Vicodin that I became dependent on. They waited months until they did surgery on my knee. Then I was prescribed Vicodin again when I couldn’t get refills anymore I started taking perk 30s. My addiction was so bad I was doing about 10 perc 30s a day. Once the perk 30s became obsolete I started doing heroin. My whole world became revolved around drugs. I was blowing every single dollar of my paycheck on drugs. When my funds ran out, I did anything and everything I had to do to get money so I wouldn’t be sick.
But I got tired of being sick and tired. That’s when I finally admitted to myself I was an addict. For over 10 years, I was an active drug addict in and out of rehab. I would get sober then relapse. It was a vicious cycle. I knew I had to break the cycle though this time.
It took me going through hell and back to get sober. After 6 inpatient programs, 8 outpatient, 9 therapists, Suboxone and methadone programs, getting arrested 5 times, 4 years on probation , being homeless, going through a toxic abusive relationship with a narcissist and manipulator that cheated and lied to me constantly, having my daughter taken away from me, being evicted, living in 2 sober houses, 1 recovery house, staying in trap houses, hoping from motel to motel, living in 10 different cities in CT and hitting rock bottom several times. I can Finally say I have been sober since November 13, 2024. I have my daughter back in my life, my family and an apartment with a close friend.
I am still rebuilding my life brick by brick but at least I am doing it sober. My journey to redemption is still in progress.
