My story thus far

Your Story
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I have to be honest with myself and with others, so here goes:

I started drinking when I was 23. I had my daughter when I was 20 and divorced her dad when I was 22. I never drank during that time until I started making friends who would go to the bar regularly on the weekends. I would go, have one and leave to go home. It was easy until my life started to fall apart slowly and i started drinking because it numbed me.

Slowly over the years the drinking increased. I met my now husband 10 years ago during a low time and he’s also a drinker. Its nothing for him to finish a 12 pack in a sitting. There have been times that I managed 2 weeks of sobriety just to break my streak because the craving was unbearable or the beer was conveniently there. In the past 10 years I’ve dealt with depression, child loss and many other things that have beat me emotionally to a pulp.

Over the years I’ve had lost jobs, fights, blackouts and strained relationships with my husband and kids. My father is an alcoholic and I find myself following in his footsteps. I can’t do that anymore and I need to do what’s best for me and my kids. I’m an alcoholic and I have to be honest with myself about that. I want to get back to that confident woman that didn’t drink and was the one who made sure everyone got home safe.

Thank you for reading if you got this far. I’m determined to stay strong this time and make it one day at a time. It felt good to get this off of my chest and admit that I am in fact an alcoholic.

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I would go and seek some professional help from the doctor. Let it all out. And have a long talk with your husband because if it gets worse who’s going the suffer? Your kids and it’s not fair on them. Nobody else but you is putting that in your body so it’s upto you to decide what path you want to take? I do apologise is I am coming across harsh but I’m just speaking from the heart and experience. We need to hear these things. Sometimes a big slap across your face and think what the hell am I doing to myself. It’s all down to you. Tough life tough people. Come on let’s do this.

Keep checking in daily :heart:

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I’m proud of you. you should be proud of you too.
Alcohol needs to stay out of the home for the meantime while you start to recover. You need a safe place to recover in.

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It’s okay if your husband doesn’t want to quit and you do. It just makes it hard on you but not impossible. If he can keep the drinking at a buddy’s house or at a bar even so that way it’s not so conveniently accessible to you during this tough spot in recovery, it’d benefit you.

Think of it like the flu. As much as we love our kids, we try to keep things at a distant when we have the flu to not pass it back and forth. If you have the flu, you need to give yourself a healthy environment to recover it or you won’t, it’ll get worse or keep coming back.

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