Hi @Blondie75 thanks for sharing your story. You have been through a lot of pain and yet you have good things in your life now that are worth fighting for.
What are you willing to do to get your sobriety rolling?
I needed to surround myself w recovery 24/7 in the beginning and I’m still active on here every day, I am in intensive psychotherapy, do self care and pursue a sport that has helped me build a positive and loving connection to my own body.
Here are some resources to get you started. Resources for our recovery my faves were the recovery elevator and the recovering by L Jamieson.
Good luck and stay active here! It helps!