My story all begins 9 years ago when I signed up for an emt course, without knowing what I would be getting myself into. I always enjoyed a drink. That’s for sure. But once the pandemic hit, being a EMT in NYC was a whole different way of life. I had a wife and young son at home, and was constantly terrified of infecting them with this unknown crazy virus. I saw more death in a day, then I was used to seeing in a month. I turned to isolating after work. Stuck alone with my thoughts. But there was alcohol. And that’s when it really went off to the races for me. My drinking continued, I had two additional children, and then this past thanksgiving my whole life changed. After dinner I realized wow. I need more to drink. Found the only open bar and went off to do what I do. For the life of me, I don’t remember leaving. I don’t remember much. I woke up in the hospital. I had driven, crashed, totaled my car, severely injured myself, you name it. Waking up in the hospital I told myself I’m never EVER drinking again. And I haven’t. I suffered a brain injury from hitting the windshield, 6 broken ribs, and a fractured ankle that has required surgery to fix. I’m finally now back up on my feet. I’m grateful for every single day. But this guilt and shame that I feel for what I put myself and my family through has recently been eating me alive and I found this page and realized I’m not alone. Just trying to keep going a day at a time. Finishing my legal issues up soon hopefully, but unsure what the future holds for my license and my career.
Thank you for reading.
Ethan