5 days ago I was asked to leave the woman I loved. All because I couldn’t handle drinking. On Monday she broke it off with me after trying to give me a weekend were I could show her control. I have never been so devastated as I have for the last 5 days. Today marks 1 full day in my journey to sobriety. This will be my second attempt and I am doing it clod turkey.
I will not fail. I will get there and hopefully she will have me back, but if not then I will cross that bridge when I get there
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You can only control your actions! You are on the right path. The chips will fall where they may, but you will be better for it. Growth is hard, but worth it.
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Welcome Stephen stick around and have a good read and I hope to see your days stack up🙏
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Welcome to the site. Lots of support here for you. Your good attitude you have when you’re dealing with so much hurt will get you far. Wishing you the success you want.
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Welcome! Sorry to hear about your relationship trouble. The best thing you can do now is focus on your sobriety. Whatever comes of the relationship, sobriety will benefit you life.
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Welcome to TS @Kicker
Have a good read around, there’s plenty of information and stories shared here.
Check out what fits for you building up a network of sobriety. A good starting point is here
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Welcome Stephen! 
It sounds like this is your rock bottom. It takes what it takes to get us started on this sober journey. It’s what we do next that makes all the difference. Take this time to work on your recovery and yourself. Everything else will eventually fall into place. Wishing you the best.
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Welcome to the forum, Stephen. This can be the gateway to a new venture of living that is unlike anything you have known before.
We each have our motivation for starting sobriety. My first real and honest effort at it was when I was kicked out of my marriage and home due to my drunken behavior. I found my success in staying sober one day at a time, not drinking for one day and doing what I could to grow my sobriety that day, when my efforts were not tied to any outcome at all.
When you are comfortable in your sobriety, you will be able to thank this woman for starting you on the path, whether you two ever get together again or not.
Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
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meetings will make it easier wish you well
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Welcome to the community Stephen
Great job on starting your sobriety journey. I know it is a hard road but it will be worthwhile. It is easier to do with support (i have not been able to do solo). Are you able to join any meetings or find a sponsor to help with this journey?
Doing this for you is the most important thing. Your actions and behavior changes will shine through far more than words or promises. Keep at it my friend - who knows what the future holds.
A great supportive community to be a part of - hope to see you around.
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I’m in a similar situation. My ex fiancé of 6 years left me because of my drinking. I’ve made it 80 days and still don’t know if I’ll ever get him back. Keep on your path and become the best you you can be for you. If it’s meant to be it’ll come back. When I talked to my sponsor they said maybe it was gods way of showing you you need help and to start you on your journey.
One day at a time my friend that’s all we can do.
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So far the app that led me to this forum is helping very much more than the meetings i’ve attended before.
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OH that’s great news – do what you can and hold on to what is working! Much love to you on this journey - just know you are not alone!
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So my world is starting to move back to in small stages. I talked to my lady. She said she still wants me, but I need some time alone since I have never been truly single since I turned 18.
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Wow man - this is great news for you. I am happy to hear that you are taking some time to be alone and enjoy your “me” time.
It better to find yourself and know you can stand on your own so you can be a better partner for your partner.
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For me, being honest in all that I do is what keeps me focused.
Meetings are about the similarities & not the differences I’ve found.
Getting comfortable in our own skin again takes time & work. Your lady will see this as long as you work a program of sobriety daily.
Glad you’re here!
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Maybe you should look a bit harder my responses are not always about meetings since i came here in 2016 ,so get your facts right , but i must add that thats how i got sober when my wife through me out i went to a AA meeting that was 37 years ago , your reply doesnt really say anything just Balls lol
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Well 3 days done. Feeling better each day. Get to see my lady for a little bit tomorrow. We have been talking alot through messenger. She gave me an initial idea on her timeframe for letting me come back completely into her life. I started an online therapy program today that I think will help a lot. Thanks everyone for the support
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I am pulling for you more than you will ever know. I know what it’s like to lose the woman you know you were meant to marry and spend the rest of your life with. After just a few months I knew I was in love with my ex. I couldn’t believe when I first met her that she could ever have been interested in me. She was tall, slender, well dressed, well spoken and when I heard her the first night we met speak of recently getting back from Egypt for work my heart went even crazier. You see, I had just recently lost my mom and she had loved everything pertaining to Egypt. Once a year for her students she would do an Egypt week at school and decorate the whole classroom with mummies, pyramids and what not. I just knew that first night I wanted her to be in my life in some way. I was fortunate enough to get that chance. It’s sad, alcohol which drove us apart in the end was what kind of brought us together. After work we’d have a few drinks and just talk and talk and talk. I wanted to spend every second with her as did she. We could be anywhere and it was like it was like it was just the two of us. Slowly I began drinking more. I wasn’t a huge drinker to that point. My vice had been opiates for years prior. Alcohol seemed to bring confidence, self assurance, and nothing about it seemed wrong so I drank more. I’ll stop the story there as it hurts too much to continue however the drinking progressed to a fifth a day everyday, till I was unemployed, hospitalized , and finally homeless. I lost her over five years ago. I have not seem her since, I have not spoken to her since. But I have not given up and although I have not seen her, her presence has not left me and I owe part of my sobriety to her. After we separated and things got bad I wanted to give up. I continued to drink and began using meth and heroin again. I wanted to die, but there something keeping me from going that far. You see, I could not allow the last time I ever saw her to be when I had. I can’t have her think of me the way she did the last time we spoke m when I do finally die. I just couldn’t and I still can’t . She meant too much to me. I admired and respected and loved everything about her. For me to die and for her to not just hate me but to think of me as a drunk, junkie, creep was just acceptable. So I continued to fight and fight to get sober. And I worked everyday to be a better man. I used that decision hundreds of times for motivation in times of despair and distress. And you know what, I am beginning to like the man I see in the mirror. If she does not come back to you initially people are going to tell you over and over to move on. But if you love her and you need her in your life then don’t ever give up. It might happen for you. I hope it does. I have not had a drink in over ten weeks, I hope when you get to that point you are celebrating it with her.
Welcome on board @Kicker. Glad you’ve found this forum here. It’s an amazing place, safe and full of wisdom and great support. Although I wouldn’t post much on here but I’m checking in on an almost daily basis just reading through the threads and that’s really making the difference for me as the shared stories and all the support and advices given here are so helpful.
Just wanted you to know, it is worth fighting for your sobriety. Stay strong and fill your box with sober tools.
I really recommend the " checking in daily to maintain focus" thread on here. Unfortunately I don’t know how to copy the link but I’m positive you will find it.
Lucking forward to see you there.
Wishing you all the best and take it one day at a time.
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