I relapsed because I made a bad decision to engage with the father of my children again…and it cost me 5 days of binge drinking and arguing with a girl I thought I left in the past with him I’m so embarrassed and ashamed… that I let him get to me again after saying he was so supportive of my sober journey and was here for me …the time I spent sober felt so freeing…I just want to get back to naturally feeling good about life 
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Start again learn from your mistakes grow and move forwards 
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I’m so sorry you have to deal with someone like that. I know exactly what you’re going through. It took me almost 2 years to get over a 5yr relationship with an abusive narcissist. It was something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy (except maybe him, lol). It’s the fact that by the time you realize what’s happening, so much damage has already been done.
I thought once he was gone it’d be easy to stop drinking, but he still lived in my mind. All day every day. An anger and hatred I couldn’t let go. I know now that alcohol 100% did not help the situation. When I would get a few days here and there, those thoughts went away. But then I’d hear something about him that would just wreck my whole day and I was back to square one.
All they want is control. You have the power to take it away by controlling your own actions/reactions. I understand with children involved you can’t go ‘no contact’, but you can choose how to respond and when to walk away. Dont give them the reaction they’re fishing for. They want to upset you. They feed on that. Be the bigger person. It confuses and frustrates them, and it’s kinda funny to watch 
Please don’t be down on yourself. They are the one who is sick. You’re stronger than you think bc of this. You just need to believe that 
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Thank you for replying I know I’m not the one one to experience this … I took off of work today just hoping I can get my mind right to have a better week
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