You’re really doing an amazing job. You 100% are aware that it’s not you. Just keep reaching out and talking about it to get through. So stressful 
It might be hard to see, but I can already see the growth in you xo
1 Like
@Lilemm
I’ve had problems with my brother, too. I learned a long time ago to stand up for myself at work and in other relationships. But, two years ago, it finally happened with him. He flipped out when I was in a trip with my Mom (88) and she fell and broke 4 ribs. She’s completely recovered now. And he tore in to my spouse because he drank a pop at Mom’s house.
So, I blocked him on phone. I do not talk about him w/ Mom or other relatives. If she brings him up I just nod and say How interesting or really. I do not ask for more information.
I REread Melodie Beaty’s book Codependent No More. In Alanon terms I was finally able to Detach With Love. It has changed my life.
However, your situation sounds dire and your safety is at stake. Take all the precautions necessary for you and family.
You are loved. Be good to yourself and move on. 
2 Likes
Thanks for taken the time to reply