Good morning TS,I’m really hoping I can grab some well needed emotional support,I had issues with my brother for many many many years,he’s smashed wing mirrors off my car(4) he’s back handed me (2) and he just makes me feel like I’m always the one in the wrong,the straw that broke the camel’s back was when his daughter was staying with him he’s only just started seeing her after 12 years so it’s new to us all, anyhow we didn’t realize she was even at my brother’s house until she was there ,she must of arrived at his and within 2 hours he was txting my daughter arranging to come up and have sleep over so girls can spend time together,I messaged him back and said tomorrow isn’t going to work for me as I’m out most of day at work and I have just enough food to get me n kids through to payday n no money to take us all out as he doesn’t take into account that I may want to do something with my neice and try to grow a relationship with her,anyhow he went mental saying what’s your problem ,why can’t we come up you only work n hour then go off using(lie) I work 4 hours and he was at that point of being so angry that spit was flying outta his mouth I could here it,he said he’s coming up to beat me up and down the road and all I do is sit on my fat c##t alday (charming)all BC I couldn’t do Monday and could do later in week.sorry it goes on ,I sent him a letter it took me hours to compare as I wanted it to calmly get across why I don’t want him in my life right now now this letter I was thinking of writing in detox over 10 years ago so when I say a long time coming I really do mean it anyhow this was a couple weeks ago now and he’s visiting my mum for few days who only lives up rd from me,so I sent him a polite message to say what was wryin letter still stands BC he’s great at brushing stiff under the carpet I’ve had to do this for years NO MORE he replied bk saying he burnt it out in garden n didn’t read it gutted,he then txt me and started to gaslight me saying I’m always moody and it doesn’t look good on ppl looking in and we should come to a truce as we don’t know how long mum’s got on this earth so we shouldn’t fight .I txt not interested and blocked him,I’m fearful he will come to my house anyway the fear runs deep as he’s turnt into his farther drinking wise and when I’m around him I turn into a fearful child again Hense why in always stressed around him.im it’s so long but I needed to get this outta me as it’s eaten me up and keeping me angry have a blessed day💜 also he’s an addict in the chaos alcohol and herion.
A difficult situation, but if he keeps threatening you and comes to your place call the police on him.
You are both adults and there’s nothing that says you have to like or hang out with family if they are toxic for you. There’s no golden rule saying that you even have to like eachother just because you happens to be family.
In my opinion you made it clear to him that you want him to leave you alone, and there’s nothing in this world that justifies his behavior against you. Not even his own problems. Also non of his problems is your responsibility, you are responsible for your own actions and in my opinion you should do what it takes to protect you and your family.
It’s not right or fair of him to use your mother’s health as a reason for keep oppressing and threatening you. Can you talk to your mother about it? I mean like in a way that you’ll be there for here but you just want your brother to keep away until he sorted things out and stop being mean?
I’m sorry I’ve got no really helpful advice for you, I’ve got a huge noisy family myself. Like in movies and one thing I did learn as an adult is that you can make your own choices. And that you really don’t got obligations to hang out with family that drags you down.
I’m praying that the situation gets easier for all of you.
Thanks for taken the time to reply,it really is a difficult situation,but I’m making it very clear iont want him in my life,but it’s never stopped him before.unfotunately I can’t put any more added stress on my mum BC he also gaslights everyone else including his mum
Hey… My older brother was a thug!! Cuz his life was miserable… So he’s gonna make me suffer as well! When we got older we became good friends. Well after I pinned his head to the carpet. LOL
We are older he’s 40 I’m 39
I’m 54… My brother is 59
Listen… Ya can’t let that sh@t get under your skin… Ya gotta be smarter than the bully
Yeah easier said than done my friend
Hey… I know… But you drawin a line is where it starts. You don’t have to stand tall… But ya gotta stand up!!!
Don’t be a victim!!
I’m thinkin you’re English…mum gave it away LOL
What a terrible situation. I’m very proud of you for the way you handled it. I personally think he read the letter first if he burned it…
I’ve had that happen with family; I didn’t speak to a few for about 7 years.
Please be safe and doors locked. 
Thanks Donna I’m just going out of house to avoid and doors locked when were in.i hate havin to be n feel this way but I gotta stand my ground this time.love lots sweet
It does suck but if that’s how he’s gonna be then you will have to too. One step ahead, actually.
Thanks hunni.im doing my best
This situation really reminds me of “hurt people, hurt people”. Your brother is hurting and he isn’t happy therefore his desire is to make others feel the same. In the depths of my disease I was never happy and when someone made me angry or didn’t give me the answer I wanted I would let them know. This was just plain stupid and wrong. I feel that you have done the right thing in writing to him how you felt, setting good boundaries to protect yourself, and watching out for your own family. All difficult things to do. I am proud of you to realize all of these things and share with all of us. Keep in mind the advice given to you by others and know that your higher power is here to guide you and help protect you to make these wise decisions. My prayers are with you and your family during this time.
Oh Emma, I’m so sorry this is not only still going on, but getting worse. You took the high road and made steps to set firm boundaries. However, your brother does not seem to be in a place mentally to reciprocate properly. I’m concerned that he’s threatened you with violence. Until He gets help, I think zero contact is safest. Are you able to get a restraining order? I’m sorry that he has made it this way because of your niece. It doesn’t seem like he’s making appropriate steps to create a relationship with her. You know where to find me if you ever need to talk love 
Sending lots of love and strength your way.
Thanks sweet I’m home now doors bolted and windows shut,I’ve also parked my car away from house so I don’t get windows smashed as I really can’t afford to fix them and the past 2/3 times he’s done it I’ve not seen a penny,I’m not overly worried IL get hit by him but it has happened so it is a possibility band his back handers take you off your feet ,but I’m more worried that he will gaslight. Into thinking that this is somehow my doing which I know it’s not but tbh ATM I need all the energy i can get as I’m tired of all of it I don’t understand how one person can cause so many emotions in another ,godbless sweet💜 I’m still struggling to understand my own and do what’s right for me n mine I really I’m not having him come side swipe that
Thanks for reply Stella I really do hope it got read BC it was a extremely clear written out letter so to think he didn’t does upset me I’m a girl with alit of fire in my belly and he Chuck’s water all over it until I’m barley a flicker.
But I understand I need to follow through and I will.godbless all your thoughtful kind comments 
