Ok first of all let me start by saying I made it to day 10! I know it’s not much on the grand scheme of things, but double digits are a big deal to me. On top of that between my 4 and 5 day sober streaks earlier in the month, I realized I have only drank 3 times in the month of Nov- and to me that is a win.
I sought out to do a cleanse until Christmas and I’m sticking to it so far- eating well, hitting exercise goals, sleeping good, and definitely being more productive at work. All around my mental health has definitely positively progressed, even though I still have my super emotional moments.
My dilemma right now is this Saturday there is a family function I have been invited to. There will be lots of people, heavy food, and drinks. I’m willing to break my food diet for that day but I’m not willing to break my sobriety. The thing is though, that being around that much family already makes me anxious at the best of times, I constantly feel very judged by many of them, and having a drink always helped me curb that. At the same time I only see this side of the family 1-2 times a year and it would be nice to show up. There was also a recent death in the extended family which occurred a few weeks ago and I wasn’t able to attend the funeral due to the fact that I had COVID. I’m already feeling bad about that and I know not showing up on Saturday will make me feel even worse, and would probably be a really bad look.
I don’t know if this should be my test to go and get out of the house, socialize with family, and eat some good foods, or if I should just stay home and just run the risk of feeling like a total asshole. Any suggestions or comments on similar experiences would be greatly appreciated 
