This sobriety is kick ass but also kicking my ass. I’m tired of being sad but I don’t think it’s sobriety I honestly think it’s my situation. Or maybe me. Idk. Beating this alone and with you all is the only way I’m gonna get through this I believe.
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Sobriety is raw. There is no numbing. But that goes all ways. You have got to admit that happiness feels so much stronger now 
And addiction is in many case to numb yourself. It is to lessen the pain caused by an underlying issue. Odds are that you feel that pain again. But I have good news for you, those underlying issues can be resolved very often. And if you can’t resolve it, 99% of time, you can still lessen the pain through healthy ways!
Look at me for example. I’ll share with you a list of what my hurts were when I first started recovery:
I have ADHD
I have autism
My dad abused me
I have no friends
I don’t have any social skills
I’m hopeless
I’m worthless
My hygiene sucks
No girl will ever love me
Many people around me have died
My mom’s boyfriend is terminally ill
I want to kill myself
My nephew already demonstrated how
And that list goes on. And, fun fact, I was 16 when I started recovery 
Now, not even three years later, life is a thousand times better!
Still got ADHD and Autism. But believe it or not, they have a lot more positives than negatives. Sure, my social skills don’t come natural. But now that I’m secure enough to show the real me, people appreciate my quirkiness And my attention for detail is a huge help with my job!
I’ve forgiven my dad. It’s taken 18 years, but he’s finally started becoming a real father.
I have friends. I even get invited to social gatherings! How awesome is that?!?!
I am a manager of a big department of my store at 19 years of age whilst I have only worked there for a little over 2 years. Hopeless my ass!
Hygiene is a continuing struggle, but I wear deodorant now. I try to shower every other day. I buy clothes that actually fit me well. I visit the hairdresser occasionally. I put gel in my hair every day. I even wear perfume 
A couple more people have died. But they no longer feel hurt. They have been saved from their suffering. I’m happy they’re free 
My mom’s had three more boyfriends in the time since 
. I saw the terminally ill boyfriend a few days ago, he was looking very healthy!
I no longer want to kill myself. Nor do I want to die.
Still think that no girl will ever love me, but recovery is a journey, I’ll climb that mountain too!
And this all sounds like a massive brag I just realized 
but it’s not. It’s my demonstration of how awesome recovery is
And this forum is littered with success stories! Imagine how awesome yours will be
Look at what I achieved in less than 3 years. Now imagine all that which you will achieve during your lifetime of sobriety!
But most importantly, imagine how proud your kids must be or will be They’re gonna have a more amazing role model every day!
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Hey man I needed to read this tonight, thank you for sharing. Your giving me and everyone else on here hope that it does get better. 
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What a great share Jan, thank you! 
@Sobermommy1 take it one day at a time. You get overwhelmed, try and center yourself, deal with one emotion at a time. Let them come and go. You’ll be ok.
Regarding beating this alone, we all need help. If you don’t have support in your immediate sourrounds (been there) there’s still a lot of help and resources beyond this forum to seek out. Here’s a list of things I find helpful.
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There is no happiness in continued addiction. Being sober is sometimes hard and sometimes REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hard but going back to using your drug of choice just puts you right back where you were. Take a nap, take a walk, phone a friend or eat an entire cake or pizza if that’s what it takes to get you through the day. Most importantly lay a sober head on your pillow at night.
Then wake up in the morning, pat yourself on the back and come back here to tell us all about it.
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