I am hoping to get a handle on how to best determine when a person is ready to leave a therapeutic community and move to the next stage/phase of recovery.
My son is in a long term (30 month) TC for THC addiction. He is doing great, and we are all tremendously grateful and hopeful.
The program expects us to follow their plan: 12 months in TC followed by 3, 6 month stages of moving before “graduation.” This TC has been truly fabulous.
But, I have to wonder if the strict timeframe for everyone (with the entire range of backgrounds and problems) might not be the best approach. And, he wants to move on with his life. Obviously, nothing is more important than his sobriety (he and I know that well).
Isn’t everyone unique (at least to some degree)?
So, I was hoping to hear from more knowledgable and experienced people how one goes about evaluating when it is a good time to leave the in-house portion?
Are there signs, tests, indicators, accomplishments or other things to identify that can help with the evaluation of when it is okay to move to the next phase?
I know this is a difficult question (otherwise I would have been able to find the answer without asking here).
It sounds maybe like you are hoping he can leave earlier than according to their therapeutic schedule - is that right?
I would imagine it’s safer to stay the prescribed time, rather than leave early and risk relapse. The doctors who created this program have no doubt worked with hundreds of people over the years
I’ve not had first nor second hand experience with any form of treatment, so I cannot provide any feedback on that front. However, anecdotally, I can say that, from what I’ve heard, the longer the treatment program, the increased chance of long term sobriety.
I’ve been a member of this community of over 7 years and have 6 years of sobriety, I think there is correlation there. Being a member for that long, I’ve seen people leave, thinking they have a handle on their addiction, only to come back months or years later because addiction crept back into their lives.
We are all unique, but not when it comes to addiction, in that vain, we are all pretty much the same.
Not sure if that helped at all, if not, I’m sure you will get some folks with first hand experience that can help you out.
Hi there! Welcome to the forum!
From my experience in being in treatment centres (in patient and out patient), its best to follow the treatment guidelines for optimal success in recovery. There is generally a reason why they have the time frame that they do.
In the past, I have chosen to go my own way sooner than suggested and it never ended well. I wasnt prepared enough and as soon as life got hard in the “real” world, my inital reaction was to use drugs as thats what naturally came to mind when i experienced any form of intense emotion. I also hadnt changed the people, places, or things in my life that were associated with using drugs. So it was verrrry easy for me to fall back.
When i did choose to stay and participate in the full program (even attending aftercare meetings), i felt much more supported and much more able to handle life on lifes terms.
One thing i realized is that i had to be willing to go to ANY lengths for my recovery. And if that meant fully completing a treatment program or attending 12 step meetings on an ongoing basis, than that is what it takes. Yes, we all want to get on with our lives but we truly can not forget that we are addicts in recovery. I will always be a recovering addict and it takes work DAILY to overcome this disease.
When i left the aftercare program portion of the treatment centre i attended, i knew that i was ready to leave when i was handling situations differently. I wasnt turning to old behaviours to cope. I had a recovery “toolkit” available to me, things that included healthy coping skills and anything that was personal to me that worked for me in my recovery (readings, meditations, prayer etc). I was prepared and had the outside supports in place (12 step meetings and my sponsor will extremely helpful). And my environment had changed. I wasnt hanging out with others who use drugs, i had clean and sober friends, i wasnt hanging out in sketchy areas or running the streets at night. I was living a completely diff way of life. Those were some indicators for me, but i suppose these can be different for different people.
Just thought id share a few thoughts on ur post. Hopefully it was somewhat helpful.
Lots of great replies here The one thing I would add from second hand knowledge (working in the treatment field) is that it is also helpful for some people to stay even longer than the prescribed timeframe, when possible. Sometimes people are apprehensive about leaving the safety of the program and decide they need some more time, with specific goals in place that they’re looking to reach to be more prepared and have the skills they need.
Thank you all so very much for sharing your wisdom and experience.
Yes, my son wants to leave (not now, but he is hoping after 6 or 8 months). And then to outpatient therapy and support group participation. I understand wanting to leave is normal and to be expected.
I also understand that following the prescribed course of treatment is always a wise decision.
And I understand that the consequences of leaving early and relapsing are indeed substantial.
I truly do not minimize any of these facts. That is why this is probably the most difficult analysis I have ever been faced with.
I am trying to understand how to move away from the generalities and analyze his particular situation.
For example, if he has worked hard on himself, complied with all the program requirements, excelled at the program, swears he has: no desire to use, an infinitly deeper understanding of himself, the tools now to stay clean, and wants to and commits to a period of multi-times-per-week outpatient help and participation in support groups, would that be reason to consider leaving early?
Does anyone have experience with a multi-year program?
Isn’t he in a multi year program to learn? It’s like learning to become an electrician. It takes years to learn the skills. Every member of the program is a unique human - no one is denying that - but there’s a reason the program is in place. You need to go through the full program in order to do the job safely.
If you had a choice between two electricians, both who say they understand what to do, but only one of them has been through the full program, which one would you hire to wire the electricity in your house?
And I believe that an investment of a few years that results in a lifetime of sobriety is a fantastic return.
Nonetheless, don’t we have an obligation to examine the cost (not financial)?
Another analogy might be: If someone has a bacterial infection and 7 days of antibiotics makes it go away we wouldn’t even consider 14 days as that would be unnecessary, wasteful, and potentially harmful. I know this is a far from perfect analogy. And I know this is a very loaded and sensitive topic – I truly respect that and mean no offense or combativeness.
Is it simply fantasy thinking to say that his uniqueness could possibly alter his the treatment plan of the program he is in (which happens to be one of the longest term programs out there)?
It looks very much to me like you are looking for a special plan for your kid. I get that, I have a child. I would want a treatment plan for them that is as tailored to their needs as possible.
But.
Us addicts often feel like we are an exception. The programm is fine, but we need a different way. It might be right for most people, but in our case it is different. The list goes on.
The problem is: We don’t see the process. The point is not how I feel, or if I complied with all the assignments. The point in recovery is to go through the process. There is no shortcut to that. It takes the time it does. Patience is very much necessary here.
Your kid needs to learn how to go through a process that takes longer, that might be uncomfortable. That’s what life will often be about. And that is something us addicts are really bad at.
And as of your bacterial infection analogy. Usually antibiotics are prescribed for a fixed amount of time that is longer then just getting rid of the infection in order to prevent the development of an antimicrobial resistance.
People who have experience with that know that, even if this might seem unnecessary to the patient.
So if the care givers at your sons center think he should stay the full time, practice patience.
But that’s the thing: the treatment program is 14 days, not seven. Years and years of experience and medical and psychological evidence has developed the program your son is in. The evidence says 14 days works, not seven. Doing only seven days will not eliminate the specific problem he has, which has been studied many times and a successful program has been developed.
Addiction is not a parasite. Antibiotics eliminate parasites. Addiction is more like a set of habits that have been learned over years, sometimes decades. At a minimum, it takes years to learn different habits. (I know the metaphor is just a metaphor, but whether we use the metaphor or change it, the answer is the same: skipping steps doesn’t work.)
Yes, it is a fantasy.
I appreciate that, and I am the same way: I do not say any of this to oppose or fight. Growing an apple tree takes the time it takes, and recovery from addiction takes the time it takes. It’s not personal, it’s just nature.
We’re all in this together. My journey in addiction recovery has opened my eyes to many new things. I’ve found out I’m not alone and I don’t need to struggle alone. I work on it with others who are in recovery too. (I have fun with them too: I’ve made friends, and we have meals, play games, and go camping together.)
The one thing I would add from second hand knowledge (working in the treatment field) is that it is also helpful for some people to stay even longer than the prescribed timeframe, when possible. Sometimes people are apprehensive about leaving the safety of the program and decide they need some more time, with specific goals in place that they’re looking to reach to be more prepared and have the skills they need.