Need some inspiration

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Hello all, (and apologies for long post, I am reaching out)
I read your stories with dismay and admiration. But they have all made me recognise my MASSIVE issue. My little story:-

  1. 10 years ago fantastic social life with a sociable network
  2. Single parent son at uni - I done a great job there - but know he worries - not fair
  3. Started habitually drinking a bottle of wine on an evening no problem
  4. Always been fit and healthy in the sense of diet and exercise.

NOW

  1. Son 2nd yr at Uni doing amazing
  2. After years doing well in my career jacking jobs because of my low confidence levels/self-esteem. Latest example had to do a presentation, did not turn up for work because I could not do it, thought I would be rubbish. Done these in the past no issues.
  3. Read a fabulous book before Christmas by Catherine Gray iro of alcoholism which really hit the mark. Went 14 days before Christmas without no alcohol, then xmas food shop put the box of wine in. Now in a worse state then I have ever been.
  4. Had dreams of teeth falling out - got a scare when I googled it
    Keep resetting this app, and losing any strength I had.

I could drink wine any time of the day. Dont have loads, but enough, I made some terrible decisions on it. Dont know where to go to point me in the right direction. I want to be clean of this destructive road I have chosen.

Cant tell friends too much, they would not understand, just say anxiety as do not go out anymore as feel inferior and not normal. I have a campervan as love the outdoors but my last explore was ruined by drinking wine before my walk and still sick to the stomach I had to do that.

Cant do AA, was brought up as a Catholic - enough guilt ladened on me there thanks!. Dont need god words. Just want to get that feeling back of determination like I had before Christmas - HOW?

Any insight would be so appreciated, I have lost my strength and due to that I feel I am moving into a sort of next stage of alcolhism , I got my son it cannot happen. I live in UK.

You amazing people with your continued fight, which it should not be, please help me cause I am at a point where I think this could be my destiny, but there is a little bit of me that says FIGHT FOR YOUR life.

Thank you all for reading and appreciate any help you can give x (Marie)

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Brought up Roman Catholic Sunday mass ,captain boys guild football team , when i was beat i went to AA never thought that Being Catholic made much difference just had the desire to want to stop drinking had enough barriers in my life so made the effort and low and behold it worked havnt needed to go out and try again , wish you well

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I was brought up catholic also. I’m not sure why that would stop you from going to AA; it’s definitely not like the catholic guilt that was instilled in us growing up…
Please give it a few tries; there’s so much more there than the “God” aspect. I read how some here go and are agnostic so I hope you rethink it.
You’ll be pleasantly surprised at the support!

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Thank you yes totally understand just heard it was a bit religious ?? But open to anything that will help…

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Thank you for reply will rethink this… i should and need to do anything that helps me.

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Yes I agree with @Ray_M_C_Laren and @anon79808082. I got to 2 months by myself(and all the lovely people here of course) and it was okay but I started feeling alone and depressed so I forced myself to do something different. I’m a baptized and confirmed Christian but my entire adult life agnostic and haven’t been to church regularly in 18 years. I got to a meeting and wish I would’ve done that at the start. They begin and end in prayer but its really about listening to others stories of success in person that’s really helped me. It will 100% not hurt to at least try it. I promise. Good luck in your journey :four_leaf_clover:

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Thank you am going to one tomorrow got to try it. Have seen some positive comments good luck in your journey :smile:

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