After almost losing my life a few days ago, I’ve taken the leap and decided to be absolutely done.
I’ve been doing cocaine for 14 years but my use has progressed over the years and drinking for about 17 now (& I’m 30). I have a 1 super extreme DUI (brethalyzer with camera in my truck), lost every good relationship I’ve had and had to rebuild my life several times. I have an amazing girlfriend, amazing step-son, great job and I still can’t seem to control myself once I start drinking. I’m not an everyday drinker. I’m the drink and keep drinking then get an 8ball and keep going, blackout get in a fight with whoever doesn’t like what I’m doing kind of drinker.
Here’s my breaking point… 3 days ago I was drinking in a city I’m not from, just bar hopping around with guys I shouldn’t have been with (should’ve been at dinner with my gf and some friends of our but apparently I just walked off with theses guys to go to some bar; I don’t remember). I remember finishing an 8ball with some people at the bar earlier, buying another one (from one of the guys I was with) and continuing to drink.
I woke up in an ambulance covered in blood with a concussion broken nose and dislocated jaw. Next thing I remember is waking up again in the hospital bed with double IVs and hooked up to all kinds of machines.
When I was finally told the story the next day of what happened; a buddy knew one of the cops on scene and he saw the video footage… We were jumped outside because apparently we were talking shit to a big group of guys, (doesn’t really sound like my personality type but then again I have zero recollection) they stomped on my head several times after sucker punching me and breaking my nose, one of the guys pulled out a gun on us and had it out (which is weird if it’s a group of 7 on 3; 3 of us)… but I guess my whole point is I am DONE with that kind of lifestyle. It’s embarrassing, it’s not who I am and it truly scares me to think I could’ve died and my mother, brother, sisters, future wife and step son would’ve had to pick up the pieces because of me and my inability to grow up and realize my problem. No more, no more! I am done! It’s only been a few days so if anybody’s read this, PLEASE any advice would be GREATLY APPRECIATED about what to do next! Thanks and I apologize for the rambling.
Welcome.
It’s sounds like you are very lucky to be alive. Maybe God is giving you another chance? This is a great place for support. You might want to consider AA. Look around here and read others stories. I’ve personally, in 45 years of drinking, have never ever been able to have just one drink. And I’m happy being sober now. If you continue on your ways it wouldn’t surprise me you’d loose a really good girlfriend. And your stepson. And everything else that is good in your life. One day at a time. Start today. Don’t drink today. The hell with tomorrow or the past.
Seriously mate. That’s sounds shit. So remember this. Remember the feelings the pain, physical and mental that you are in right now.
Remember it forever, let it be a reminder
I agree with @anon12657779 and @Dazercat, you were absolutely lucky to wake up; and let this be your “wake up” call.
Stick around and definitely find a meeting.
Welcome and glad to hear you are now okay after what seems like a horrific incident.
You need to really remember this feeling of shame, regret, disappointment and motivation for change. Your life has been controlled by an enemy. Drugs and alcohol abuse is so common, we are all here because we have been in similar situations and want to change.
If you ever feel low or close to relapsing, come on here and chat. I recommending educating yourself with books on sobriety, it really helped me feel like I was not alone in the journey.
You will most likely benefit from changing your routine. Avoid meeting in bars and places where you drink. Get rid of booze out your home. Even think about isolating yourself from the people who have been bad influences. This is your time to turn a new chapter. Take it one day at a time.
You will wake up every new morning feeling clearer, healthier and prouder of what you are achieving.
Good luck dude! Like I said we are all here for you x
I’m not really sure which group I would belong to is where I am unsure. Do I classify as NA, AA? I am so new to this but I know I need a support system that is sober and active. I know that I need to be around individuals that want to build each each other up and hold each other accountable. What are your thoughts?
I agree and that’s what’s driving me. I am more motivated than I have ever been because I realize I have a problem now and I’m done running away from it or ignoring it.
Yea man thanks for taking the time to read. Like I responded to another, not really sure where to go from here… do I reach out to NA, AA or something else? Just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now I guess.
As far as AA/NA goes, I say pick which group is right for you. Which one you feel most comfortable in. I was an alcohol and cocaine user as well, moreso an alcoholic but still a very avid cocaine user. An addict is an addict, a drugs a drug and alcohol is a drug.
I prefer NA to AA, and more frequently attend those meetings. Just getting there is the most important part. You belong where you feel you do.
Proud of you for taking this step and I’m glad you’re safe.
What @Knives69 said. Find a group. Go to it. If you like it go back. You can always go talk to people there as well after the meeting. One big thing though if you don’t like the meeting you went to find another one. I have found there’s definitely a group vibe that maybe you’ll like maybe you won’t. But there’s a lot of groups out there and one that fits you.
Glad you’re alive. Such a dangerous situation to be in. Wouldn’t of happened if you weren’t there. And you’re only there to crack on with your mates with beers and drugs.
I’m sure you’re feeling pretty crap right now, but try stick it out. Try something different.
Don’t put yourself in those situations anymore you can have a good life.
You’ve done the beers n coke… Time to do something different now. Positively different.
Thanks for giving the support and feedback. I just called around and there’s an AA meeting everyday right next to my house. I’m going to my first meeting tomorrow. I’ll update the group and let you know how it went. Loving the support from everybody🤙🏼
Thanks man and it’s time for a change. If I could put my energy into building a constructive and positive life I think I could really do something man. Thanks for the support:call_me_hand:t3:
That’s exactly right imagine all the energy that has been consumed on those huge benders… I’m not very spiritual but I feel even within myself if I put all my energy into something positive I could work miracles.
This is a great place for support. You might want to consider AA. Look around here and read others stories. I’ve personally, in 45 years of drinking, have never ever been able to have just one drink. And I’m happy being sober now. If you continue on your ways it wouldn’t surprise me you’d loose a really good girlfriend. And your stepson. And everything else that is good in your life. One day at a time. Start today. Don’t drink today. The hell with tomorrow or the past.
