Even more motivation, in a negative v’s up fuck you kinda way! Wife text her kids yest to tell em I’m going aa. Don’t know how much of the gory’s she told em but probably most! I said she could of spoke to me about it b4 she did…“its my life”. I didn’t bother saying it’s mine too or its my business or its my fucking dignity! Just chain smoked and went to bed furious. Let’s heap on the embarrassment and humiliation, that’s gotta help my recovery!
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Considering what are friends and family have gone through as a result of our drinking and drug use it’s not surprising they need to discuss it with other people. One thing I’ve learned in recovery is that the world doesn’t revolve around me. Have you considered why she talks to her kids about your drinking?
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Honestly I kind of wish my dirty little secret was being told and I wish I knew about it. Maybe it would have woken me up sooner. I have noticed that my embarrassment over my disease has helped me to stay away from alcohol because I don’t want to feel that shame and embarrassment anymore. I understand that not everyone can react in a positive way from negative feelings but maybe it can help a little. Try to use your feelings in a positive way and see if maybe that helps you in any way.
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You are the one being embarrassed. You feel humiliated. You actually don’t know what exactly or in which way your wife talked about your alcoholism. You only know she told them you are going to AA. Which is a positive thing you’re doing to better yourself.
In light of this, I’d be verrrry careful hinging my recovery on the hurt feelings I have over what other people do and how they apparently slight and wrong me… Especially when there’s so little to go on. Your wife is right, it’s her life, she can talk to whoever she wants to. So can you. You have the right to come here and bitch about her, right.
You are in charge of your recovery. And your feelings. Cos you are the addict. Not your wife.
Perspective.
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I think I was hurt and angry as she told them without discussing it with me 1st. I know she needs to talk about her feelings and how my relationship with alcohol has affected her, completely understand and respect that. It’s not that I want to hide my secret and quite honestly if more people know it will help by making me more accountable. Good night last night. We had a very honest talk and I think we can start to move back to a more supportive place. 13 days now. I’m not going back to drink. Aa says on day at a time. I use that anyway but, possibly in total contradiction, I am also right now saying never. It’s added nothing to my life and taken so much. Thank you all for your replies and support. Stay strong all x
Maybe she could try al-anon. I think it was inconsiderate of her to tell ANYONE you’re going to meetings, it’s part of why you feel safe going there is it’s ANONYMOUS.
I think she certainly didn’t mean to embarrass you, she is probably elated that you’re going! 🤷😊