Looking for some advice on how to navigate the waters trying to go sober from alcohol and attending function’s. Had planned a multi-night camping trip with a bunch of friends. Sure there will be a drinking involved as everyone knows how camping trips go.
I am honestly a bit stressed and nervous if I attend, I want to go but something in the back of my head is throwing a warning sign . Everyone is a close friend and assuming would be supportive but given the environment, I am just nervous for what could happen.
Should I just bail on the event even if I committed to taking days of work to attend. I can feel the anxiety just trying to explain my decision in front of someone ,for some reason I feel embarrassed to admit I have a problem.
Of course you should use your own discretion. But I’m my experience getting out and doing things sober is the best practice for living a sober life. I went camping at about 3 months sober and truly enjoyed it.
If you are like me, the people in your life don’t all have drinking problems, but most all of them drink. With a Mexican family even a 4 year olds bday party is one side bounce house screaming kids, one side tequila and mariachi. So I could never avoid it. I just told people I had had enough, someday I may have another drink, but not today.
Good on you for making it here. Think of your sobriety like packing for a camping trip. If you are packing for survival, you will need the essentials, a solid shelter, warmth fire, food and water. You don’t need a whole heap of unescessarry baggage.
Know you boundaries, what will weaken your resolve? Be prepared for this, mental preparation is just as important as packing the essentials for a great camping trip away.
So make a list of important things that are going to make you survive this sober camping journey … alcohol free by setting some solid boundaries for yourself. Its good that there are alcohol free drinks these days. Zero alcohol beer and wine is a good way to kill those cravings. And if your feeling weird socialising without having any alcohol in your hand, get used to having a drink bottle on hand to stay hydrated, it really helps.
Go, and just dont drink. Doesnt have to be any weird interactions. If someone asks, just say i dont feel like drinking. Trying to live a healthier lifestyle, but dont have to dive into you having a problem
In the beginning of my sobriaty I told others I want to work on my health and that’s why I didn’t drink. Later on in my sobriaty I told people close by I had an alcohol problem and that’s my “why”
I heared others here used the reason the could not drink because of medicins they used.
Whatever reason you use and feel good at the most important thing is think trough if you can handle it yourself. Can you go for that camping trip and do not cave in?
Because if you are doubting that, maybe that is were that anxiety comes from and maybe you better stay home this time?
Please listen to yourself here. You might be able to go and avoid the alcohol but if you are hearing warning bells don’t go. Your gut knows better than your head sometimes.
I missed out on a few occasions in my earlier sober days and I am happy I did. Your true friends will understand but they can’t keep you sober. Only you can do that. Keep us updated.
I’d go with TrustyBird and Dolse - if something in the back of your head is already screaming “alarm” you should probably listen and skip this one. You are early on in your sobriety. I know I didn’t trust myself with social events the first few months. I even spent my first New Years Eve on my own, because I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t cave when everyone else is drinking.
Now, in case you decide otherwise, make sure you have a solid plan at hand. That might be checking in with your sober people (this place, AA or another program, a sober buddy) before picking up. Have an alternate drink ready, that you acually like. Personally I find non-alcohol beer or whine to be rather a problematic choic, when everyone else is drinking “the real deal”. But people are different. Be ready to walk away or take a break when you feel overwhelmed. Have a plan you can follow through when it gets bumpy.
Also wanna say - I think it’s great you are thinking about this one and putting it out here. It’s a great step in the right direction. No matter what you decide.
“Those who judge, don’t matter & those who matter, don’t judge.”
I have found that statement to be true.
That said, I know the inner turmoil, at the onset of my recovery, of letting people know I was getting clean & sober. I definitely found out who my friends are.
Ultimately, I had to make a decision for me. My life depended on it.
491 days in recovery, so far, and not once have I seen or heard from people I used to party/use with.
Good. Riddance.
Conversely: I’m happy, I feel free, my two true friends (of 37 years) are happy for me (and supportive), and I have made true friends in recovery. Not many (less than five), but they’re genuine.
Seems like a good trip to miss. The woods will still be there so you can catch the next trip. If you go, and relapse, then you may never get another chance.
In reality there’s only 2 events anyone ever needs to be at. Their wedding and their funeral. Anything else is not mandatory.
Most of the people on this site with long term sobriety will tell you the same thing. Miss the events now so that you can enjoy a long and happy life later
I was at first too. Heres the thing… its none of their business. “No thanks” is enough. You dong owe anyone an explaination. Not even people you love who you know care about you. People who care about you and are a good support for your sobriety should care about you enough to respect your boundaries.
But dont deprive yourself of fun experiences either. Once youre comfortable to know you can be around it (which for some people is a really long time and thats okay) go! Trust yourself and try to have someone supportive thrte with you. But at the end of the day dont be embarassed to admit you have a “problem” be proud to say that youve made a decision to better your life and your health. Because ultimately thats all there is to it. Focus on the postive decsion you made. Not the negative reason you made it. You got this
