New here. I realized I’m an all or nothing guy. I’ve quit before for months, but knowingly drank to see if I could control it. What is your advice.
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Welcome.
I’m an all or nothing guy too.
My life is a lot better since I’ve gone all in on recovery!
I’ve also had to test if I could drink again too. I failed the test.
I’m going to assume that your here for failing the test too
welcome. The 24/7 support I found here has helped me tremendously.
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Totally failed
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Welcome Rich.
I’ve learn a lot from guys like Jason and many more great people using this sober forum.
I cannot drink like a gentleman either 
@JasonFisher
I’m glad I’m here.
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Years ago, my friend asked, “what if we went to the bar had 2, and I took you home?”
“Well, what about the following Friday.”
“Well, just don’t drink.”
I laughed “thats just not how it goes.”
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Moderation in my case it is not a possibility. For me it is more a question of changing way of life and change my mood, more than simply give up drinking.
Not having any contact with alcohol it is way to tell myself: “I am new, I am not the old drank angry selfish man I used to”. Alcohol does not exist.
Best advice I had and have: do not think in the rest of your life or in beating sobriety records. Just live today sober. Only today.
Happy 24 hours!
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Welcome @CBbonez 
Give all for recovery is my advice. Zero tolerance for addicted behaviour & associates.
Engage here where you feel comfortable, stay accountable, read around, learn, build up your toolbox, make a plan, learn about strategies, stick to it no matter what, join a program, stay connected, read quitlit, listen to podcasts, help your body healing and don’t pick up that first drink.
The daily check in thread and the gratitude thread are great places to share, focus, connect and stay accountable. Tons of good stuff and great people here on the forum.
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I tried and failed every way possible to keep drinking. Life is way easier and manageable sober! Keep stacking those days, the father you get away the easier it gets.
Remember, you are not being deprived of alcohol, alcohol was depriving you of life. Best wishes
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Another all or nothing person here. With alcohol it is nothing now. Which gives me the possibility to make it all in the rest of my life. Wishing you all success.
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I tried for a couple of decades. Last drink of choice was low percentage alcohol and I still managed to smash the shit out of me. Recycling bins were double full of cans! Time spent drinking was longer and more expensive because I was trying to ‘control’ my drinking.
‘All’ = Life
or
‘Nothing’ = alcohol
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I really relate! After 3 years of being dry I too tried to “see if I could handle it” and sure enough I fell right back into my old pattern of over drinking and under thinking. My biggest problem was using other substances in place as a crutch while I wasn’t drinking. So when I decided to cut all substances out it made staying truly sober that much easier.
Good luck, glad you’re here, here if you need to talk!
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I’ve never been able to. I drink to oblivion. That’s one reason I’m here.
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I have tried to convince myself I could. Totally can’t.
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Same approach I used when I quit dipping almost 10 years ago.
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The one issue I do have with platforms like this is I get OBSESSIVE!! And when I say OBSESSIVE I mean OBSESSIVE. I’m scared of that.
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Coming to that realization and accepting that was the biggest step beside quitting.
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If it helps, it helps.
Its okay.