New here, spent all day reading through post on this page… My problem is mass amounts of vodka every day that im off work. Ive quit several times , and now at 50 i KNOW i personally have to stop for good . MY problem ironically, is im VERY active, weight lifting , crossfit , mountain biking , MMA … and have a homestead that im always working and building on… I CANT DO ANYTHING without a buzz… even working out …even crossfit … When i go a couple of days without drinking , im dizzy , lazy , want to do nothing but sleep…NO energy at all. Ill finally get pissed and go get a bottle of vodka take 3 or 4 shots in order to get done whatever im doing , then ill finish the bottle throughout the day.And its just gotten so bad , that i finally broke down from not being able to stop, and im going to see a doctor this time i hope soon…Im only on day 3 of no booze…and feel like a shipwreck… cant do anything. This pic was recently at a workout session… my friends had no idea i was heavily buzzed , because im ALWAYS heavily buzzed , and sneak off to the locker room to drink airplane bottles in between sets. People look at me and think im “healthy” , but im an absolute train wreck … and i can tell the heavy booze coupled with the heavy workouts are going come to a head in a bad way. I can feel it with my heart rates, BP, ETC. Anyway …I apologize for the entry rant first thing … i just have done so well hiding my heavy drinking from everyone other than my wife.
.That this is the first time ive REALLY talked out loud about it… … And my mind is all over the place right now
Welcome to an amazing supportive community. Read around lots.
Welcome 
. Getting it out into words is a huge first step. Addiction is a battle we don’t have to fight alone… I’m a lot like you (minus the great genetics 
). Anyhow, I’m glad you’re here, have a read around.
Welcome to the community — Day three is awesome and it seems this is around the time that you feel the need to go back and get your liquid energy. The only reason that that works is because you have relied on it for so long. You do need to do a proper detox (i would suggest it be under supervision) This will take a while and then longer for your body to get back to a normal rhythm. The reason all you want to do is sleep is because your body is going into its own detox mode and trying to recover with sleep.
I was like you that i could not function and needed alcohol to do any and all activities / chores. I honestly did not know how to survive and function without it. I am now a little past 6 months so letting you know that it can happen and that you are strong enough to defeat your addiction.
Are you able to get into a support group? Possibly join some meeting(s), get a sponsor. Not sure if your time allows it but possibly a rehab facility where you can detox properly?
Great 1st step in coming here and taking your time reading around!!! the more active you are here the more it helps with working on your sobriety. You have joined an amazing community here - loads of love and support and absolutely no judgement. We do wish you the best for your sobriety journey - do hope to see you around.
Thank you , This page has actually help throughout the day. Glad to know im not the only one . Wont be able tobdo a detox facility, but am actuality going to look into AA or some group … And thats the last thing i ever expected to do…
But coming to a big realization now
great job in looking for a AA group and possibly other support groups too … online 24 hour meetings are also available. It is best to have many options available to you.
Hopefully you will be able to find a sponsor at one of these meetings as well.
I do find the following two threads to be super helpful in keeping me accountable in my sobriety - maybe they could be helpful for you too…
Checking in daily to maintain focus #55
and
Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #4
It’s never too late to come to the realization that you want to fight for your life - a healthy addiction free life!
Wow… I couldn’t lift 10 lbs if I was drinking!!! No, but seriously I hear you. What you do not see right now is how much stronger and feeling better you would be if you weren’t drinking. You need a few weeks sober to get the alcohol out of your system and I don’t know what your diet is like,but I bet it is pretty much good, so if you can lay off the vodka for a while, I PROMISE YOU that you will feel so much better and actually get high from your work outs! NATURALLY! AA doesn’t do the trick for me, but I don’t know if you know anything about Buddhism, but Noah Levine wrote about refuge recovery material and it really helped me. It’s about finding middle ground and balance in your life and sobriety. Ok, I’ve babbled on too long but best of luck to you and try to really give it a try. In no time, you’ll be at your best?
Its time to lay off the vodka and get your head in the right place. Start checking in here at least once a day and write out some personal sobriety goals.
When you are willing to do what it takes to get and stay sober, you will succeed. I’m so excited for you and all the possibilities for your future. AA changed my life and continues to. There are so many recovery programs and communities. I myself participated regularly in three!
I’m new here as well 10 days sober and proud of those ten days. Similar to you, typically by noon I’m pouring a glass of wine to get through my work day. My job is stressful and I’m dealing with a back injury. In the past I would have hit the gym to deal with the stress of work but I’m in pain and cannot until I get my back taken care of. The back pain gave me another excuse to drink. “ It’s the only thing that helps with the pain”. Or so I thought. I’m glad to be here and glad to have support
Welcome to the community! Your story sounds alot like mine. You may feel like shit now but I promise that if you stick with the sobriety for a week or two, you’ll feel like a new person.
Getting into a sober routine isn’t quick or easy and it takes a lot of focus and dedication but once you do that, sobriety can become second nature.
Hello:
Yes I am. Thanks for checking. It was a stressful day but I am good.
i’m sorry the day was stressful - glad you made it through and are here with us – one day at a time my friend.
@JazzyS Was a good day …
Stayed busy as i was off work, so did yard work and farm stuff , extreme highs and lows … had to stop twice and take an hour nap…
I just crash soooo hard that i cant keep eyes open… ill nap for an hour , then pop up with energy… then ill start to crash again after a couple of hours. But overall , good day.
I’m glad you all checked back in! Often that doesn’t happen. I just want you to know as someone who was where you are now, that you both are f’ing courageous ninja warriors for getting thru each day sober. I know and will always remember how precious hitting my head on the pillow sober was in the first few months. This sobriety thing led me to possibilities I could have never imagined. Don’t quit. Some good stuff is on the way if you embrace recovery with a willing heart and mind.
Thats awesome my friend
Glad you were able to take your naps when body needed it- dont worry, this will not last forever. You will get your energy back and then some-- stick with your sobriety.
Yeah to another good sober day! Hoping for many more
My comment might be counterproductive but here goes.
When i was deployed my Soldiers got hooked on ripits and protein shake and all that jazz.
When we got back home they lost that residual income and some resorted to exactly what you described
My suggestion is this, since this is something you ACTUALLY are working on, try to think about healthier items.
Old, continuous habits are embedded in your day. Have you spoken with a doctor concerning the toxins? Are you ready to replace old habits with new ones.
Find a friend in a chef. Yup, a cook. If you can find trust in one of those two, the doctor or a chef, tell them what your going thru. They might have a work up for a work out program that IS MEANINGFUL
I’m not a dietician or a doctor but struggling alone isn’t going to work.
Best of luck. Keep connected.
Build that mentality of healthy habits
Welcome to a great place to be
We are all addicts and alcoholics here. We understand what it means to think you will not be able to do anything without booze. I used to think life will be impossible without pills. Imagine the shape you would be in without the booze, i cant believe you can work out drunk, thats insane to me. Going to have to bite the bullet and go through it, it gets better. I am a few years from 50 myself and i knew i had to quit as well if i wanted to live a long life.
Hi @Fit-to-Fight Knot and welcome here. It seems to me you are relying on alk to get stuff done and balance out your emotions. I can relate deeply to this. I used to drink to get anything done that my extreme highs and lows would make impossible to face otherwise. I would also lift weights still drunk and a few times already buzzing. I knew it was a bad situation and that was not long before I ended my drinking.
It makes me happy to hear your are taking naps. Sounds so simple. But that is exactly what you need to do in a nutshell: learn to listen for the needs of your body and your soul (for lack of a better word, I mean emotional needs) and over time, slowly, learn to provide that for yourself. That means that over time you will replace the function alcohol fulfilled for you by conscious, more and more intuitive actions by you! I urge you to work on this, make conscious what you need, and try to give yourself that.
Here are some further threads that I think you might benefit from:
Your #1 tip for sobriety (over 2 years sober)
Gym selfies, weightlifting & fitness 
Welcome!
PS:
