I don’t have any advice for your situation, but still wanted to welcome you to the community. There are a lot of people here who have a great amount of experience, so hopefully you’ll get some useful advice. This is a good community. I hope you find it helpful in your journey.
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If you’re sneaking vodka shots at the gym and always heavily buzzed, your friends most certainly know so it’s not exactly a secret. They’re just not saying anything. I used to do this at work with vodka and only one person had the balls to tell me I smelled like booze. We didn’t get in each other’s faces or anything, it’s just detectable to people who aren’t drunk. A couple others said people were talking about it but said people didn’t confront me. Just gossiped. It’s pretty much a myth that vodka has no smell or taste. It’s easier to operate this way if you think everyone around you is oblivious.
I know exactly what you mean by the lack of being able to do things sober. I also developed a rapid heartbeat and other physical problems. Even after 51 days sober I’m waiting for my energy and motivation to return and have to force myself to do simple things, but know it’ll get better. It can be a struggle, but worth it to preserve our health.
Stick with sobriety no matter what. Give it time. You obviously care about your health and all that hard work will be for nothing if you let alcohol destroy you. It’s not easy to relearn doing things sober. Lots of people here to talk to who’ve been where you are.
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There’s no hiding alcoholism, we only think it’s hidden when we’re drunk. It’s insane.
Think how much more focused and powerful you can be without the drink holding you back, I used to be similar, if drink heavily the night before but then be up at 7am with a massive day in the mountain bike, I don’t know how I did it.
Your quality of sleep and recovery will improve when your body is not being rotted on the inside, imagine what you’ll be able to achieve.
You clearly have the ability to push thru when it comes to lifting and working out, I hope you can apply this same mentality to your soberiety.
My main advice is to arm yourself with knowledge, read books about soberiety and watch videos about the theory.
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My fastest ever half marathon was the day after a bottle of vodka. So I know what it’s like to kid myself everything is ok.
Sometimes the pushing yourself physically is an offset for the heavy drinking. It’s a trade off or justification.
But all the while your heart, kidneys and liver etc are struggling. But like you I just hid away from that truth.
By quitting you’ll see even more physical improvement. You’ll realise that you can be even better! More than the physical side, you’ll take control of your mind.
It’s quite a raw experience taking control of who you are but really rewarding.
Being here shows you need something more. One day at a time (ODAAT). Keep checking in here. Think about how you feel, share progress, share concerns, and move forwards with us and our shared experience. 
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Starting day five , and feel better today … still extreme highs and lows but got the best workout ive gotten in a long time while completely sober…and dont feel as angry and short fuzed…
But honestly had to force "one more set " EVERY TIME …just no energy. Id usually give up , and wait till id get to house , or my other gym near my house where i could have a preworkout drink . But wow im crashing again , (like sleep and energy wise ) .bad . Gonna try to sneak an hour nap. Ironically ive noticed even though i stay sleepy , but i can only sleep for an hour maybe two… and cant sleep a solid 8 through the night at all… Drives me nuts .
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@J_Lo_Ste absolutely agree… One of my problems i seem to face mentally , is im super strick on diet, love cooking because i meal prep most everything … focused on my workouts, … have “healthy” hobbies , and stay busy… BUT only want to do that stuff when drinking . Seems backwards… ive hurt myself a “few” times when i had too much as you can imagine on trails or the gym, ive left ovens and burners on while meal prepping cause by the time im done cooking and prepping im s#%tfaced, .
…Few days ago my final straw was i was in my home gym outside , and had gotten drunker than normal while working out … realized ive TRIED for months to stop , and laid on the floor of the gym and cried …and drunk text my wife saying i need help … Id rather not live if i have to live like this
Wife has rarely seen me cry in 25 years together, and ive never said i need help, and when she came home that night we talked while i just cried uncontrollably…
Shes been on it everyday since , talking to me about it , calling doctors, giving me options etc…I feel good about it this time
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WOW - love your wife and so happy that you have someone so caring in your corner.
Welcome to day 5 my friend. Keep doing what you are doing - it is a slow and steady ride but you are doing so well! Keep showing up for you. The sleep will regulate in time and you will get your energy back on track.
stay strong and keep on your sobriety path! We are here for support.
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It’ll all come together in time! Keep going. You’re doing great.
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I like how your thinking
One of the things you must work on is removing the easy work out gym at home. Yeah. That’s what i said
Or
Or take home people from the next meeting
Working in your own gym is a simple task
So
Try and invite the whole group to have a meeting in your safe space
Because your safe space is where you toss a few down
Not trying to remove your gym my friend
Augment your gym with new fresh people who want to get in shape
Get some chairs and host a meeting in your safe space
Be a work out buddy and stay in shape
Get a sponsor
Yeah, stand in the room of a gym and say
Is anyone here got some time in sobriety
I sure could use a sponsor
You never know who will or might answer
Just ask
Just do it sober
.
You say your willing to do whatever it takes
It means taking a chance
You can do this
Your moral compass is certainly pointing in the right direction
Pick it up and do some exercises with that moral compass
You ĝot this³
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I don’t k ow life without a buzz. It just became a routine, decades worth of it. I got drunk for the 1st time when I was 12. I had a week sober then I relapsed yesterday. Im sober today though, so thats good. I know you can do this. There are so many success stories enveloping us. I think I can be one, and Im certain that you can, as well. We’ve got this!
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Hello there. I used this app for the first time almost 5 years ago after I lost my girlfriend who I wanted married. I was sober 4 months in arrow afterwards several trys. Despite I don’t drink often like before I want to stop drinking… Especially now that I started talking with my ex girlfriend again. I wanna try it once more.
I’m a vet Colombian. Greetings from Florida.
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Hi. I’m sorry for you relapse but congratulations because you stayed sober today. I’m gonna start again with this app afterwards I quit a couple of years ago.
We can do it!.
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We can! Hope all goes well with your girlfriend.
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Well, she’s still my ex girlfriend and probably she’s coming to the USA next year. I just have the hope she give another chance and for that, I need to quit to the alcohol.
By the way, it’s nice to meet you.
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Nice to meet you as well.
Do you have any pet?. I’m working on my English in order to get my veterinary license to be able to work in the USA as a veterinarian.
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How are you doing these days - hadn’t heard from you so wanted to check in.
How are you doing Dana?
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Hello, I’m doing well. I was away for the weekend with friends. It was just what I needed. My friend is sober. Others we were with were not. It was nice to not drink, and to not feel the need or desire to do so. How are you?
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Great to hear that Dana -glad that you were able to get out for the weekend and have at least another sober friend to make it easier. Well Done!
Doing well myself - still sober and addiction free. 
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