I’ve been sober now for about 14 months, I used to be a huge binge drinker and out 2/3 times a week and constantly humiliating myself and don’t remember probs like 5 years of my life… but now I feel so lonely, I still go out (when actually invited) and always make a point of driving to avoid temptation… but I very rarely get invited out now and don’t feel like anyone wants me around cause I’m not drunk… I’m starting to struggle. I used to have a solid close knit group of friends that I now I’m sober I very rarely hear from and sometimes I think I should just drink again and maybe people will want to spend time with me again…
Rather than drink to fit in, you should find a group of people who are just like you. AA gave me a family and fellowship.
That’s exactly what I need… the friends I’ve had for years I have little in common with now as our main common interest used to be alcohol, I don’t feel like I have a decent support system to keep me going, would love that
Sounds like some pretty shitty friends. The friends of mine that matter are proud of me for not drinking and invite me to do all kinds of things! I would strengthen the friendships with the people who stuck by your side. These people who don’t call because you don’t drink are not worth sacficing your sobriety for! You e done amazing so far- you have over a year! That takes real strength
Thank you, that’s so sweet. That made me feel a lot better x
I used to go to Al-Anon meetings because of my dads alcoholism but I’ve been too scared to go to AA because that would involve talking about myself… where do I find AA/SMART meetings? X
I am going to my first meeting this morning! I’ve been told you can just listen if you’re a newbie. I think the most important thing is just going and being a part of the community in the beginning I’ll keep you posted how mine goes
You can go and listen if you like. What area do you live in? I will find you a meeting schedule.
Yes please! Let me know! And good luck!
I live in Chichester in England
What sort of books do you read? I think I will have a look at AA but since going sober I find I get issues with anxiety and doing something like that tends to be quite overwhelming but I’m desperate for a “sober family” I think that’s what I need. It is very lonely indeed
Thanks so much I’ll have a look now
In the mean time you have a family here x
I went to my first Women’s AA last Thursday. I arrived early and told the speaker up front I have a little bit of social anxiety and that I just came to listen. Everyone was friendly/excited to have me and signed a book with their name and number and gave it to me after. Not sure when I’ll be ready to speak, so I just plan on listening and making friends for now…
Agree with all the above… Definitely put yourself out there and build up new networks who will appreciate you for who you are!
I don’t know if you’ve tried any meditation but I have found that really helpful in being with my own company which is something I’ve always been awful at. It’s definitely a process but I’m becoming more comfortable with myself which in turn helps me be more confident in social situations, building better connections with people.
I am a binge drinking myself. I always thought drinking made me more fun. I WAS WRONG! Drinking made me an ass! I am so much happier, healthier, and easier to be around. I have lifted the fog. No longer am I causing embarrassment…from drinking…for my family and friends. True friends will like the new you. Shitty friends won’t do move on. They are the ones with the problem. Move along to greener pastures. You are doing the right thing!
I have today spent £30 on books as a means of distraction and losing myself in something other than drink. I do find it works for me
I’ve read so many books in recovery! Partly because I can see straight now, but also it’s a great way to pass the time!
I totally understand where you’re coming from! Sobriety is a whole new life and it can be isolating when your old life is surrounded by use. I have had some great friends that support me, but we still don’t hang out. I isolate myself a lot though. I truly like my own company and I’ve got a lot to figure out still. I’m 7 months sober and I will never go back to living that old life, no matter how alone I sometimes feel. Time for us to get out and make some new sober friends girl! Love the suggestions!