I woke up from some horrid dreams of going back to an old life. I am about 1 month short of 9 months and have promised myself 1 year of sobriety (at least), at this point I am praying to make it through the next hour. I have a sponsor and work the program of AA but the obsession creeped in and now the struggle is more intense than I was ready for. My mind wanders & I find myself looking in all the wrong places, so I thought I should do something healthy and reach out to like minded people who can maybe offer some HOPE, STRENGTH & ENCOURAGEMENT to get me through. I am an addict-alcoholic and am being brought to my knees in asking for help…thank you~
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You really picked a good spot to visit. I’ve invested just under 2 months here, coinciding with my decision to get sober and I can tell you, the swath of humanity this app provides is a beautiful thing.
That said, I see the strength you’ve already put forward in your 9+ months and view it as an inspiration. Knowing that we can all have some dark thoughts creep in at any time and that there is absolutely no stigma in seeking a little help here and there.
I think focusing a bit upon the distance you’ve traveled so far may be a boost of positivity. Looking at some practices you’ve used during this time to focus.
Have you contacted your sponsor? I understand that that person can be an enormous support in times of doubt. Not personally doing AA, but have friends in the program.
Don’t forget to just breathe a bit. Yeah, I’ve been told that and rolled my eyes. But it’s that little practice of getting the oxygen into the bloodstream that kicks some relief into a taxed brain and can give enough clarity to command your situation. You have this under your control. And you coming into this forum proves it.
There are people here that you may never meet that share similar thoughts. And we all want to see one another accomplish our goals.
You contain the force to continue in a positive manner. Don’t let any demons dictate the narrative. You’re not weak. You are an inspiration.
Peace, Friend.
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Were it not for this App, I wouldn’t be working Day 27 right now. Nine months is a feat you should be so proud of. I think we all have to assume that facing life’s struggles completely sober will always be a struggle. Pressure makes diamonds. Keep shining. And reaching out. 
️:muscle:t3:
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