Well last year on Easter was my last drink until December 2016. 9 months sober. I loved it. I slept well, remembered my nights and days. Got a decent job. Enjoyed my animals. I was so proud I even announced my sobriety about a week into it on social media. I had a couple family deaths, handled those well. I got to the point where come afternoon and evening, getting a drink didnāt even cross my mind. Thenā¦ Out of nowhereā¦ I was driving to town to mail a gift, and my mind said āa beer wonāt hurtā just one. I battled my built in brain āsalesmanā that I thought had departured months ago. Well, he won. One beer led to many. And I have been at it since. I made it a week in February because I was on antibiotics. But lately, I am that pathetic black out drunk again. This Sunday would have been my year mark. I am so disappointed in myself. Afternoons are my worst time because I feel better by then from my morning hangover. Ugh. Anyways thanks for reading 
No matter how many times you fall, what matters is that you get up and here we are with you. (Sorry my english Iām spanish)
We all have the power to try again! Itās amazing that you made it 9 months! Push yourself to make it that full year again 
This forum is a great help when dealing with doubts and struggling to maintain sobriety. It sounds like youāve been through a lot and the temptation through those struggles wasnāt there (which is awesome). But maybe you have some things to work through and face that you couldnāt fully come to grips with. I donāt mean it in a prying way, but I went through death and illness of my family and I realized that I never really dealt with it sober. So when I lapsed it all came out and made me understand what my brain was trying to suppress.
We count minutes, hours, and days. We struggle to make weeks, months and years. Alcohol lays in the weeds.
Alcohol teaches us the lies. We repeat the lies we learned.
We work to fix our lives, to remove toxic people, dangerous places and familiar situations. Alcohol paints them as āGood OlāDaysā and āFunā.
Alcohol waits until we have convinced ourselves that we can safely āride the dragonā.
And then the dragon eats us.
You are new here, but your story isnāt. Weāve all done it. I blew 23 months once. Iāve gotten the bridle onthe dragon before. āYeah, see? I can control it. I did it for 23 months.ā The dragon was just smiling and waiting; resting up, getting prepared. He knew Iād be back.
I am glad you are here. Iāve been here for a few weeks, but sober for three years, three months and thirteen days.
Have a plan for each day. Have a plan for where you can and cannot go. Have a plan for who you can and cannot see. Have a plan in case Plan A goes to Hell. Have a plan for when the backup plan goes wrong.
Know the dragonās voice when it comes. You know it isnāt your voice. Youād never talk yourself into blowing 9 months.
If thereās anything I can do, please let me know.
Best,
Chandler
Thank you so much! That means a lot.
Makes perfect sense. A dragon is a good character to use as well. Thank you for the inspiration. I have read some people referring to ātoolsā is there a book or workbook I can get? I just need something hands on other than my smart phone.
AAās Black Book. I am not a 12 Step Guy, but I have read an old gfās copy. People here can tell you excellent books and online resources to look at.
Best,
Chandler
Iāll look it up. Thank you!
Welcome back to sobriety @SandyMarie. I relapsed after 6 yearsā¦alcoholism is very patient. We canāt let our guard down. All we have is today.
Hi @SandyMarie. Welcome. Sorry about your relapse. But 9 months is pretty awesome. Look forward to having you among us. Iāve blown 2 years worth of sobriety. So I know what itās like. You still retain a lot of the information and tools that you learned previously. Use that to your advantage. You got this!
Thank you!
Hi @SandyMarie and welcome! Thanks for sharing your story, and the details of the relapse, Itās helpful for us to see what signed to watch out for. I relapsed after 13 months, but now on track again.
Thank you!!!
Donāt think of your relapse as a failure. It is just one more step on the path to full recovery. You have learnt. You are wiser and stronger. Now you know not to listen to that ājust one beerā voice. Next time you hear it you can tell it āyou said that last time. You donāt fool me againā.
An older lady in my meeting this morning had over 30 years and a similar thought crossed her mind. She had shared that she won some kind of raffle and received a gift basket with 3 bottles of wine in it. She gave them away, but stated that alcoholism is sneaky and ever so patient. Even with so many years, those thoughts still came to her - to drink all of that wine.