Hi everyone my name is Ryan. I’m finally taking this seriously, I always had reservations about leaving my friends behind, even if it’s just for a period of time to get my life together, but I moved to Portland and I was on and off the street for a bit since March but now I’m in a program, have my own apartment, and I’m going to meetings again. I have a 2 year old and I’m blessed to have my parents take care of her while I’m doing this. As hard as it is to admit, I wasn’t able to fully take care of her, I did for a year and then I fell apart. But I’m doing all the extra things I’ve never done before. I still have a good relationship with her through FaceTime because she is a plane flight away. Hopefully I will feel strong enough soon to return. I’ve struggled to get to 60 and 90 days for the past 16 years. But the extra things I’m doing have made it to where I’m finally doing this for myself, not just for my family. So I wanted to make a point that it’s possible to feel good about yourself and feel strong even in extremely hard or depressing times. I feel like a failure as a dad sometimes, I never wanted to have a kid that I couldn’t take care of, that was a big thing for me, so having that happen has been hard, getting past it to a point where I can see the path to an end result and changing that in my life is empowering!
Right on, welcome Ryan! 
That’s a hell of a story man, welcome to the community! You’ll find a lot of support here 
Thank you so much?!!! it’s my 12th time in a program plus all the times I’ve done it solo. Reminds me I need to call one of my old counselors I promised to keep in touch with. That’s always important
What defines a person isn’t always being perfect and never missing up because their starting line is their finish line. They’ve earned nothing and can’t truly appreciate what they have and who they are. No, what defines a person is the journey to get to the destination. Sometimes that journey involves crawling through the mud, in the rain, while you emotionally bleed out. It can be painful and hard, but when you get to your destination you will be strong in a way that you never would have been otherwise.
You can do this. Your daughter won’t remember much, if any at all, of this time in your life where you struggled and she wasn’t with you; but she will remember later when you will be there for her because you are strong and you are clean.
Welcome to the community. I hope you find what you need here to help you on your journey.
The hardest part is not seeing her grow up and make those mile stones, right after she started walking CPS took her and placed her with my parents, it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced outside of splitting from her mom who didn’t want to stop using, that’s the hard part is talking to her on face time she’s growing up so fast, my daughter🤯 is growing up so fast like I never thought I’d have a daughter and she’s perfect, it’s hard
Welcome to the family! This is a great step into a better life.
More power to you Ryan we are all with you. In staying sober there is always going to be up’s and down’s and some days right in the middle of up or down lol. I wouldn’t have it any other way, why because if it was easy i probably would had been drinking by now being honest people, thats just me, stay sober buddy.
Thank you, this morning was good, really easy and productive, I just got out of my outpatient group and it’s tuff, it’s Friday, I live in downtown Portland so everyone is out doing stuff, smoking weed and chilling, I’m broke and don’t have many friends here yet so I’m struggling a bit. Like right now I wanna buy a hat, I usually always wear one, but can’t, and the weed smells soooo good, they have FIRE here in Oregon and it’s so cheap 
but idk it’ll pass, I just don’t wanna sit in my room and watch Netflix while there’s so much going on.
That shit is hard I ain’t even going to lie. You have to find it in you. You know I still have a good time with my brothers and they all drink, so matybe you can have a good without the poison.
Thank you, I finally feel like I can I’m at a protest where there’s beer and weed floating around and I’m fine 
@mur6 I went 4 1/2 months earlier this year and relapsed and now I’m on day 37 again in my journey to sobriety. I can relate to @livep9 as my family are drinkers. Since I live 8 hrs away from them I seldom see them anymore and I miss them so much. The good news is i just got back this week from visiting and held my ground. I did not cave in and I’m proud of myself. I’m determined to NOT reset this damn counter again! I’m more important than a bottle (whatever your vice is), we’re more important. Your daughter is more more important and she needs YOU! Keep your chin high and hold on. Stay strong, stay sober and keep fighting. This is a great community and everyone here has your back. God speed.
Hi, welcome to the TS family 
