Hi everyone. This is my first time posting.
In the beginning of 2021 i went to rehab for alcohol. The previous 6 months were a mess, and I was trying to kill myself with booze.
Since rehab i have been 3 and a half years sober.
I never understood how my life spiralled down so quickly after years of admittedly heavy drinking. Well last week, after dealing with a medical issue i got an MRI on my neck and we found severe compression between c6 amd c7. This was from an injury i had at work in april of 2020.
I am finally able to get treatment for my neck, the pain in my back that i didnt even know was there is now gone, a brain fog that i have had for the last 4 odd years is gone and i feel like a brand new person. I couldnt be happier.
Now i am sitting here thinking about how life isnt fair. Its not fair that i got injured during a pandemic and was ignored by my job, my loved ones, and the overworked medical staff at the time. Its not fair that i have missed out on bachelor parties, birthdays, new years, and everything else that involved alcohol.
The truth is I dont miss the drinking itself, but i cant help but feel that i had something taken from me that shouldnt have. My brother has his bachelor party in Vegas at the end of the month and i have already declined. Because for the first time in almost 4 years, im worried that im going to drink. We live on opposite sides of the country, so this is a once in a long time kind of trip with just my brothers.
I know im doing the right thing. I like sobriety. Maybe my issue is that i got great, life changing, medical news but i feel bad.
There arent any easy answers in life. Thank you for reading.