Just a new guy here. Wanted to introduce myself and thank everyone for being brave and embracing the struggle. You’re stories here are encouraging to me, so i know they motivate others.
My name is Jerry. I’m an addict in recovery. Dual diagnosis of bipolar disorder, ptsd and addiction. I self medicated with everything but my D.O.C was stimulants ie cocaine, meth, mdma.
I’ve been battling addiction for a long time. For me, when i began my journey to God, is when things began to change dramatically. In 2003, i quit using, i became celibate, i quit smoking after 20 years. In 2005, clarity began to seep in and it became easier. Until the memories and crippling regret and shame came with it. The more accountable i began holding myself, three more crushed i was that i could have been the person that i had been for so many years. In my broken mind escapism, the very thing that created the problem, was my choice to deal with the problem. I relapsed for 2 days. Pulled myself up out of the mud, and began my journey again.
I stayed celibate for an astonishing 7 years. For someone who most likely was a sex addict too, this was a miracle. However it’s cleansing and empowering to look at a woman and not immediately “size her up”. I learned to have a deeper respect for women in general and this allowed me to foster some pretty fantastic friendships with women i would have blown off if we couldn’t “come to an agreement”. Another blessing from doing the right thing. As a newly established Christian my abstinence was a result of spiritual principle in that i didn’t want to have sex again until i married.
Again, the blessings came around. I met my wife, we dated in 2012-13 and got married in late 2014. She is a square in the sense that she has never used or had more than a cocktail or two ever in life. A virgin and a life long Christian. I wasnt even slightly worthy to talk to her much less marry her.
She believed and believes in me. She, like my higher power, sees value in me and potential. She is grace and love. The most intelligent, kind, big hearted, moral, beautiful, capable, funny, resilient human being i have ever met next to my mom.
This September we will have been happily married 7 years. She by the grace of God heals me and I’m grateful for a chance to right my wrongs and salvage the remaining years of my life clean and without the clouds of addiction robbing me of happiness and self respect.
Thanks for listening.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m on my 6th day sober today with my boyfriend from alcohol. I’m starting to feel a little better each day. Hope you the best in your journey 
