How all going for you @Matt
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It’s beautiful Matt. And REST. I had a MRI yesterday where they put the needle with the dye directly into my shoulder then I sent a half hour in the MRI machine… and today the pain is horrible. So I think I’m just going to take a day to get my composure together and actually rest. How about you?
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Ouch! That is rough. It’s a good day to rest & give your body the attention it needs 
I’m working today. I do field sales work, visiting painting projects, checking colour, talking projects & products. It suits me - I like chatting with people
It’s a beautiful day for it today: sunny, not too hot. I’m enjoying the day
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So why are you from? If you don’t mind me asking. The pictures you take are beautiful… nothing like that around here
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I live in Ontario, eastern side (just north of upstate New York). The climate is very similar to upstate New York & we have similar landscape and plant life (though fewer mountains).
Where are you from?
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Cleveland Ohio is we’r where I spent most of my life. It’s beautiful there but where I live in Ohio now it’s just all ghetto
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I’ve been to Cleveland - I was there in Jan 2020. It was chilly - January on the lake! - but the food was fantaaaaastic. We went to some famous-chef restaurant that was delicious (I don’t remember the restaurant’s name but I do remember loving the food!).
I haven’t visited other places in Ohio but I have been lucky to meet some people from Ohio and they’re all great. Soul & strength in there - really good people
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Well back to the surgeon today 
I’m praying with all of my being I can talk my way out of another surgery but we shall see have a great day everyone stay blessed
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Take care Hollz - fingers crossed for you 
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Thank you. I think it’s going to be gods plan
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So Sunday will be my last day of work for awhile. I feel hurt and honestly betrayed. I have worked where I do, for four years and now that I’m hurt ** which mind you happened at work 
** I’ve became dispensable. I promised the owner I wouldn’t go after workmen’s comp and now I’m going to be off with no pay until I am released to return to work 
the one thing I have thrown myself into since I’ve gotten sober. I’m scared for my sobriety honestly. Stress and boredom are both triggers for me so I’m indeed worried what the future holds. And although I know not to question God… I have to wonder what the lesson in all this could be. I really need friends right now I need someone, anyone. I feel completely alone 
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It’s so hard when something you’re counting on - like work (and pay! And something to keep you busy!) - disappears. It’s hard 
I understand why you feel worried. Anyone would have feelings like that in that situation.
One of the things that helps is finding that space between feelings and action. The two don’t have to be the same.
I can feel ____, but I can see that feeling and accept it, but take action in some other way. I can choose to sit with that feeling, see it, and train myself to say “I am having a feeling of ____” - and by doing that I widen that space for myself; I separate my feelings from my action. Take a walk, listen to some music or a book, up my meeting attendance, etc etc. Gardening is nice too; something to have a creative space for your time.
Get really into yoga!
Take care Hollz. This is a new learning opportunity life is giving you. It’s a sign of growth.
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I just feel like I’m letting my children down my kids down, and mostly myself down. I’m too strong for this. I can keep working. “They don’t want to see me in pain “ but I show up on time to work and I do my job. I don’t want to be someone that has to depend on someone else because I have no one to depend on to help me smh. I’m disappointed in myself
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You’re a proud and stubborn person.
I don’t say that to be disrespectful. Pride has value: taking pride in doing good quality work (which includes the work of raising children, in addition to work in business or labour) is important. Stubbornness has value: some of the people I respect most in the world (including my wife) are tenacious to a fault. They just don’t know how to stop. And while it does cause them problems, it is also what gives them the persistence to achieve the great things they’ve achieved.
At the same time - it’s a delicate balance. It’s obviously not possible to depend only on oneself. Even in cases where it seems that someone is making it alone (as my wife often describes her mother doing), there is, when you look deeper, layers of support helping to keep things going (as my mother in law had with her sister, who was her closest companion; or with her daughter - my wife - who has a close, supportive relationship with her mom).
What do you need, now? If you had what you needed, what would it look like?
To know my bills that care coming up are going to be paid. That my groceries for the next couple weeks will be there. That I have gas in my car to get to doctors appointments… I guess just to know that I’m not going to end up homeless and hungry or both 
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Makes sense.
First: that is a tough spot you’re in. I see how much it sucks. It’s like the carpet has been pulled out from under you and now you’re struggling to regain your balance. That sucks 
There are a range of programs available to support parents in these situation. Some are government run and others are run by churches and charities. Here are a few useful lists:
This list includes a “Parent Helpline” which looks like a place you can call and ask about options that could help you:
Here’s a site with a list of food banks you can visit. (You can also go online and search “food bank near me”.) Food banks are there for exactly when you need some help getting food in the fridge:
This site I found by searching for parent support. It seems to have some useful links. There’s programs and grants:
http://singlemothersgrants.org/most-helpful-government-assistance-programs-for-single-moms/
Churches and charities are actively involved in community support in many places, so search around and see what you find. It doesn’t really matter what opinion you may have about religion as a concept; in my experience churches and charities have people who want to help, and if you keep an open mind you make some good friends. It’s a nice community to join and be a part of, and you can help there too (which gives you something to do).
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How are you doing today Hollz?
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Lots of doctors appointments. Still refusing to take time off work but I’m sober and I’m just taking things minute by minute at times. Things are rough right now honestly
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Those doctor appts can get stressful - it’s a lot to manage. The pain is hard to live with. Have you found any techniques that help with living with it?
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