This is totally new to me. Never believed in faith based programs but absolutely believe in personal accountability and peer support. I’m an atheist. Also never asked for help before. I’m 50 years old. Other than about a year and half of my young military service I have always drank on the regular, but been able to maintain. Great career type jobs, great friends/social life, maintained a reasonably healthy 15 year relationship, raised our nephew until he passed.
Got divorced about 6 yrs ago, took a job in a couple country bars slinging drinks where there were not only no rules, but drinking on the job was actually encouraged by the alcoholic owners (long time friends). Nobody beat my tills! And over the course of 3 years slowly slid off the rails and have become an out of control drunk. I have physically injured myself multiple times (not intentional). Has cost me a couple decent legitimate jobs and a couple relationships since.
Wound up in the emergency room 2 nights ago with an ambulance ride, head wound/concussion, and blew a 4.0. Believe I found my personal rock bottom finally. I truly want to quit drinking! But I’m finding it far harder than I ever imagined it would be.
Just please looking for some guidance or a place to start here.
The only programs in my area are faith based, and that just doesn’t really work for me, so online is pretty much my best current option. Thank you so much for any replies!
Hi! Welcome! I’m also new here, I hope you find this helps you onyour road to recovery! 
Congrats on your 1.5 days!
Thank you so much! I appreciate. Wish you the best as well!
As I said, first time I’ve ever asked for help. Something’s gotta give? I simply won’t make it another decade at this rate.
May I ask how long you’ve been sober/clean?
im on day 3
Well you’ve got me beat by double…
Congratulations to you!!
Gotta say first time I’ve ever spilled my beans to a group of similarly dysfunctional total strangers. Feels kind of good? Idk?
I have tried going to a few AA meetings in the last couple months and quite honestly all they made me want to do was go to the bar immediately after and have drinks. Lol. Just wasn’t at all my crowd?
Welcome! 300 days sober from alcohol over here and I attribute a lot of that success to the community I’ve found on this site. There is something for everyone just use the magnifying glass in the top right corner to search anything you like. There is a fairly active atheist thread.
What this place does best though is offer support when you are struggling. Everyone here is an addict and though drugs of choice vary everyone here has had their own day 1s. If you feel like your sobriety is slipping or you are tempted and can’t talk yourself out of it hop on here and tell someone. There are people from all over the world so someone is always up.
Again welcome. I wish you success. 
Thanks much for the warm welcome! I do believe that this is going to become a great resource for me. Much more convenient, and after reading through several threads today, I believe somewhat more meaningful than meetings in my humble opinion. I live in a small town and the meetings I attended here consisted mostly of older gentleman complaining about not drinking anymore or younger court ordered DUI victims just putting in their mandatory time.
I appreciate the heads up on the aethiest thread. Not being weird or trying to make a social point here, just have a very difficult time being motivated by, or to make life decisions based on something I’ve never been able to believe in or buy into.
Usually I can make it the better part of a month being a dry drunk, but I always have derailed usually in the form of a horrific week long shitshow of a train wreck bender.
Congratulations on your 300!! Rock on brother. Inspirational!
I truly get the concept of one day at a time, but my ultimate goal is to move back into that peaceful suburb of not having it be a major day to day or monthly issue. I do know for a fact even right now that I can no longer drink in my life. There is just no moderation left in me.
Again, thank you for the welcome, and thank you for listening.
This is really all you need to start with and it sounds like you know that already. Sober heads on sober pillows build sober days.
Clinging on to that personal realization for dear life atm. Know first hand the next week will be fairly easy for me. Still feel crappy enough getting physically banged up and having my ex pick me up from the ER on a Sunday night. Not a problem for a few days…
More than anything I absolutely need to keep that thought or realization front and center of me the next time, regardless of consequences, I just want to get numb and tune out the whole world for a day.
Sober heads, sober pillows? That’s good stuff… Thanks!
Hey Luke, welcome! I truly hope you can beat the urges and temptations that you’ll feel, especially at the start. It’s worth it.
There’s so much help out there, even on YouTube if you look up “sobriety” or anything about quitting.
They do have zoom meetings here but you can also do them outside of your town if you want. It’s worth a try, right?
You need to download the zoom app.
Im old like you, 
so don’t wait too long!
You can keep your camera and microphone off and just listen on zoom also.
Thank you for the welcome!
That is a GREAT suggestion. Unfortunately most of my friends are all still drinkers. Not All Fall down drunks like me, but still that sounds like it would be a super good alternative. Thank you!
Funny thing about getting sober; your real friends will be happy for you and not try to ruin your efforts. Some may not want you to stop.
It all has a way of figuring itself out.
Be selfish about doing what’s best for you, 
And like I mentioned, you can do the zoom meetings anywhere, not in your town. 
Shut up! 
I’m still a 20y/o just trapped in a 50y/o’s body…
I’m honestly pretty fortunate in that respect. I have been enough of a shitshow that even my friends that are still heavy drinkers are encouraging me to do this.
Never even considered the whole zoom thing. It does sound like a really great idea.
Welcome to the forum and congratulations on the decision to make a change to sobriety!
I understand that i feel more comfortable being incognito haha I’m finding this site a bit confusing though i must say. 
Don’t at all mind speaking in front of a group and certainly no shame left to be made in my small town by me. Lol. Just have nothing in common with the attendees at the meetings I’ve been to locally. Just hasn’t spoken to me?
What do you find confusing?
Welcome to the community!
Fellow atheist here, you might enjoy this thread:
Sober without god. An atheist / agnostic thread. Please be respectful!
I went thru a program at 16. I was using after I left that outpatient facility. Aa/na is where i met some good using friends. I learned what not to do lets say, lol.
Fast-forward to a few years back when I was bombing hills in front of my house on a walmart deathtrap (peralta with sloppy trucks) eating concrete and drinking beers until I fell down and broke my right leg in two places (spiral fractured fibula, tibia fractcture) I found myself waking up in the ER waiting for surgery. Waking with a titanium rod jammed into my leg like a spike and pinned in for structural reinforcement, not even then did I think I was a drunk. Healed up getting drunk and continued until I chased my demons to the bottom of a whiskey bottle night after night trying to find answers to all of lifes bad hands and misdealings… until I realized, its me. Im my problem. Drinking will blind you to just that fact.
I say all that to say this, welcome to the community, it works for me.
Lol. I hear ya brother!
Last summer I walked/stumbled through a flower bed landscaping thing in my back yard and ate shit in a HUGE way. No recollection whatsoever. Woke up at the crack of noon the next day with a skinned up nose, it bruise the size of a grapefruit on my hip, and a hand that was twice it’s normal size and on fire. Fractured one finger and totally broke two on my left hand… only way I figured out what happened was because I left a really nice snow angel in the middle of my flower bed. Good times… Should have been my hint, but no. Just wound up drinking a whole lot more for a month because of some pretty serious pain in that hand. It was a nice excuse at the time?
Ironically, this is kind of how I chose my screen name. Just plain old Luke was already taken. Wild Turkey 101 has always been my go-to. So rather than go with Luke 2 I figured Luke101 would be kind of a fitting reminder every time I looked at it.