Join a meeting. Listen, talk if you want to or just listen. The worst feeling, is feeling alone. You’re not alone - so many people have been where you are:
https://www.intherooms.com/home/category/community-and-meetings/
You’ll feel more motivated as you get a better sense of yourself, as you engage with sober contacts and build your sober community, here and elsewhere. Youve been running from something, escaping into your addiction. You need to get to know yourself and learn to stand on your own (sober) legs. You can do it - and it starts by making some sober connections and learning about your addiction.
Welcome!
And there’s more stuff here: