Hi I’m a new member. Just joined yesterday. I’m 33. My childhood was dysfunctional to put it nicely. I’ve been a heavy binge drinker and pot head since I was 13/14. I lost so many people I love throughout my life but lost my brother in 2016 from a fentanyl OD and my father in 2019 Heath issues. My mom was gone most my life and he raised me an my 5 siblings so once he died I lost myself bad. It got to a point where I was putting down a 750 and half a 30 pack on my own high on meth cocaine an pills and was still standing with no blackouts. My problem is liquor. I won’t even touch a beer if there’s liquor an I don’t bother with mixed drinks I just chug the bottle till it’s either gone or I passout. I can’t ever seem to get past 3 days of not drinking. 2 years ago I made it 6 weeks sober and it was amazing. I also have about 9 months clean from meth which I almost od’d on last year. that was hard to kick. I’ve been struggling with those cravings more so recently especially when I drink. I struggle with cocaine although I don’t go looking for it anymore. Drugs and alcohol have ruined so many things in my life. I almost lost my kids but no one knew about my addictions so thank god I kicked them before that happened cuz it came real close. I was in the medical field as an MA and I would go to work high or coming down or still drunk from the night before. I didn’t get fired and nobody ever knew but it highly and noticeably affected my work performance. I’ve been in nothing but disfunctional and abusive relationships. One domestic landed me in the hospital with broken bones 2 black eyes it was a mess. My boyfriend now, Weve been together on an off for 3 years and were both using. We split for 4 months and kicked the meth and alcohol was minimal. We got back together an he moved back in in April and weve been doing better then we ever have until the drinking started picking up again to unhealthy levels. He recently shoved me out of his car on the side of a major highway and left me there after drinking and a fight, we haven’t spoken since which is triggering my anxiety to uncontrollable levels so I drank about it which obviously only made things worse. So Today is day 2 of not drinking. I feel a little better today then yesterday but the incident with him did prompt me to seek help for littlerally the first time ever. I’ve never been to a rehab or AA although I definitely should’ve gone many times over by now. Outpatient rehab when I was a teenager but it was forced so all that was for me was to meet new connects. I’ve always been a functioning alcoholic and addict, never lost a job from it. Bills always paid and somehow in all my years I just got my first dui in June. I’ve totaled cars, I’ve hit houses, trees and bridges from drinking and driving and drugs. My ex is MC so it was always something. Always running from the cops and others bikers. I’m tired of running from everything. People. Emotions. Life. I just wana stay strong enough this time to stick with it and maybe not have to wear sneakers whenever I go anywhere lol. Anyway I think I’ve probably way over shared at this point. So Thank you for letting me share and Here’s to day 2.
Welcome to talking sober!! That is one hell of a story. I’m glad you’re here and congrats on the start of day 2.
This is an amazing community with so many great people that are always around. Stick around!
Welcome Ang! So glad you found us. You’ll find a lot of support and information within this community. This forum and AA have been the backbone to my recovery.
Welcome. I’m back here after a year of “moderation”… I find reading about the experiences of others here keeps me focused…
Welcome. 
I’m so glad you’re here ! Congratulations of 2 days ! This is a great place. And we’re here for you.
Welcome to the forum, I’m glad you made the decision to come here and that you followed up on that!
There’s plenty of info and experience and fun to be had here. Check out this thread for ideas on how we have gotten and stayed sober.