Hi everyone. I just joined the community. I’ve been wavering with sobriety for years now, and successfully take a few days, a week, even a month or so off, then find my way back. I’m turning 40 next April and REALLY want to gift myself sobriety. What worked for all of you in early sobriety? What words of wisdom do you have? What should I not be doing? I’ll take any and all insight. I’m scared, but I’m also really happy to be here.
I’m only at 68 days so I am no expert but I found replacing my downtime with the gym. I probably spend more time there then I should but I think it’s helping. By the way welcome. There is a lot of help here if you want it.
I really like to run, so I was actually thinking of running in the evening when I normally start my daily cycle of turning my brain off with alcohol. Do you go at a set time, or just whenever you can make it?
That’s pretty much what I did. After work when I would wind down with a drink. Now I just go to the gym.
Hi and welcome,
Here you find loads of tips:
My nr 1 tip to you is be here every day and be openminded to try all the tips you will get.
Some will work, some won’t and at the end you will have multiple things that work for you.
Hi @Ivywild and welcome to the forum! I’ve been here since the beginning of my sobriety over 7.5 years ago. I’m starting to forget what early sobriety was like. But I know I was on here a LOT reading and replying. And I read a lot of books about sobriety. Here is what I posted at 8 months of sobriety. Good luck!!
How I did it:
- “HOW”: by being “H” - Honest “O” - Open and “W” - Willing (“H” could also stand for Humble. I had to become humble)
- By being kind to myself, especially at the beginning since I wasn’t used to it
- By reaching out when I felt like shit.
- By going to meetings and LISTENING to what was said. At the beginning I pretty much just soaked it up.
- By putting sobriety first. The most important thing you can do each day is not pick up. If that is ALL you do, it’s been a good day.
- By having an interest I could pursue. At the beginning, I mostly read fiction and books about sobriety.
- By taking that next indicated step. I paid a lot of attention to my emotions and how I was feeling. They told me when I needed to do something. Like add another meeting, or get more help with the twins, or recently running.
- By spending a lot of “me” time. Now I am ready to be more sociable and will be adding fun and people to my plan (I get to pick what I want to do!).
- By coming often to this site and reading or posting.
- By recognizing that feelings are temporary and that they will come and go, both good and bad
- By doing small things that will make my life a little better and give me hope. Having a clean car, or going through one box in the garage can count.
- By having a financial plan for the saved money from not drinking. I hired a financial planner around the same time as my first sobriety date (I relapsed for one night after I had about 68 days in mid-December) and I let him do the worrying for me (most days at least). Knowing I did NOT want to go back to the financial shape I was in while I was drinking has helped me on more than one occasion not to go down the rabbit hole.
- By having goals like losing a few pounds and buying a house. They give me inspiration.
- By not spending time with people who were not good for me, even if I had known them for a long time. YOU are what’s most important in your own sobriety.
- By having a LOT of non-alco things I like to drink on-hand. I like Kombucha and morning coffee.
- By having munchies or gum handy.
Thank you for reading and have a great, sober day!!
@Ivywild Hi! Welcome so nice to have you with us! I am in the early stages of sobriety, but to answer your questions I think you made the first right move: joining this app and community. It’s important to have support and here you will find a great community who understands what you are going through. I removed all alcohol from the house when I started this journey. Replaced it all with fresh fruit I make juice of and add some sparkling water , lime etc to it. Working out helps as well and just staying away from places where there is alcohol involved. You can really do this and you are so worthy to gift yourself the beautiful life of sobriety. Reach out when you need help
I’m sorry I don’t have any advice to give but I feel we are in similar circumstances. I was 40 in May and enough is enough. Time to smarten up and play this game of life in a different way. I’m starting here. Finding some people. And sleeping! I cant believe how tired I am on day 6.
Welcome @Ivywild glad u found us!
I think for me the biggest thing that helped me in early sobriety was routine. I function really well with having set things to do at certain times.
My mornings routine would always be recovery related (prayer, reading the Big Book, meditations done thru the free Insight Timer app, journalling, reading daily reflections, and coming on here to check in). I liked to start my day off on the right foot and have it be recovery focused so that the rest of my day would be focused on that also.
I also incorporated exercise. This has been a grounding force in my recovery.
Outside of having a routine there were a few other things that helped me in early recovery.
- HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). These tend to be reasons why i wouod crave my DOC. It was important for me to check in with myself often and to make sure that these needs were met. It reduced cravings.
- Writing my reasons why i quit. I wrote these down on a piece of paper. I took this list with me everywhere bcuz cravings can happen anytime. When i craved i would remind myself of my reasons for quitting. When i start to think that i can moderate or that im cured from this disease, i read my list. When i want to use, i read this list. It brings the focus on whats important… my family, my health, financial stability, spiritual growth, etc.
- Remember that cravings DO pass. Take it one day at a time. Dont think too far ahead into the future, bcuz that can be overwhelming and scary. Just focus on not picking up today.
Wish u all the best on ur sobriety journey. Hope to see u checking in often
Welcome from another newbe! I’m only 13 days in, feeling amazing, and I too have had 1 sober period in the past. Lasted 5 months but did it without any apps, fellowship, meetings or any support whatsoever. What I found from that experience is that we tend to think that we’ve been “cured” and forget why NOT to have that first drink. I think we do need this type of support, especially for those of us binge drinkers that who can goe periods of not drinking. We often think we aren’t sick enough because we don’t drink around the clock. The fact is, we are just as sick and this thing is progressive if we don’t stop it now . As far as meetings, I’ve already attended a SMART and doing a Recovery Dharma tonight 🩷
I go to lots of AA meetings where I have made friends that I can reach out to and do things with. Also, AA book studies help to understand the disease of alcohol.
Hi, I am also new here, this is my first day.
Welcome Daiga! Glad ur here
Hi! Congrats on day one
You know what’s funny is that I am really hard on myself, but, when I read what you’re doing I’m like “Hell yes, girl! That’s awesome!” then realize I’m doing the same thing! So…maybe step one for me is giving myself some credit
This is really reflective – thank you.
HALT is a new one for me and I plan on writing it on a stickie note!
Thank you for the great ideas and kind words
Thank you!
At the minute I just feel a bit scared and very apprehensive. I’d love to be able to give myself some credit as well, but I’m definitely not there yet!