Newby wants to be sober

@Dazercat What a great post. I was with ya every word. I ALMOST lost it last night. Day 10, and I was left unattended in my house with a bigass bottle of Kessler and 7-up…unopened. Kids flew up to spend a week with their dad, my mom (who lives with us) was out for the evening, and I was alone…with that one cabinet in the kitchen. I was obsessing. I thought, fine, I’ll start over tomorrow. So I ran around doing stuff, cleaning up and rearranging my room w/ Netflix in the background. Next thing ya know, I had ridden the Crave-Wave that was HEAVILY on my mind and I made it! Me?! A lifelong drinker?! I, too, don’t plan on torturing myself if I go on a big vacation and drink, but I REALLY am trying not to allow that.
What’s cool? The delayed gratification. We are used to punishing ourselves (hangovers, guilt, blackouts, the $$$ cost) and I sure punished myself not having a drink and turning up the tunes. But I have to say, I am FULLY acknowledging my choice to keep my mind out of that bottle. But I did it! Day 11. I was pacing, was getting ready to find an AA meeting ANYWHERE, and am SHOCKED I didn’t cave. I’m with ya, Dazercat. It’s not easy, but it is surely different. Kind of like an altered state from being drunk/hung/tired all the time. I like how I feel, just miss getting a buzz. But I’m trusting the process. Props on your honesty.

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Turned 38 recently. Trying to do the same. My husband loves drinking. Let’s stay strong!!

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When I get through today I’ll have a week without a drink. I don’t see a problem with that.
Slept great. No hangover. Had a great cuppa. Spent time with God. Prayed. Read Al anon and sobriety materials. Now off to the fitness center to work out. One day at a time guys. One day at a time. Good luck all. And thanks for your support.
@Lisa07
@Sassyrocks
@Julses

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may welcome difficulties. I pray that they may test my strength and build my character.

From www.HazeldenBettyFord.org
I read sobriety devotionals there. Big help.

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Thought I’d dig up my first post ever on here to make a few mentions to others who are, and have, helped me on my journey. And other newbies that might be out there. Who might want to read a really long share.

Through my sobriety and my children’s I have learned Sharing is for the person that shares not necessarily for the person reading it. Although if a share helps the reader that’s just even better

When I first came on here 01/03/2020 (American) @Edmund I was frightened. Scared shit. Now I realized I was just scared of how wonderful sobriety can be. I’ve received plenty of support around here that I’m grateful for.

My first few months on here I just did a gratitude list and didn’t get very involved as I am an introvert. Eventually branching out and just reading others post. Then eventually branching out and asking and giving my opinions. Like anyone would want my opinion?
I’m kind of alone (personally) in my sobriety journey. And that’s ok. Because I got you all, so I’m not really alone at all. And being alone without local friends is on me and my wife’s lifestyle and our lovely but recovering grown up children.

We actually moved away from Austin Texas because we would not let our kids come back to the party town of Austin after rehab in Utah. Hardest decision in my life. (Except when I tricked my mom into assisted living. I have a lot of experience with parents with Alzheimers and no regrets)

I mean the kids could have come back to Austin but not with our financial help. It was sober living financial help we would offer in another state. Take it or you’re on your own! They took it.

So how are we going to see our kids? We moved to Durango. Where we and the kids didn’t know anyone. The kids stayed in Cali. We had lovely visits the ten years we were in Durango. We are trying to get closer to Cali so now we live in Flagstaff. We don’t know anyone here either and that’s ok. It’s how we roll. But it does get lonely. Not a complaint mind you.

It made my day this morning to have been mentioned by people I consider friends in a far away land. I’ve never been one for social media. I never did and never will do Facebook.

Jenna. I feel like you are another daughter of mine somehow but in a world far away and I always want the best for ya. And my daughter is back in school at 32 after a big detour in life and now she’s in graduate school. I’m so proud of her. My daughter is a tough bird to be friends with but in my mind y’all could be great friends.

@MrsOdh @Olivia @Jennajen and all you lovely Scandinavia people, I love reading about all your stuff. Your family traditions and culture and foods and living so far north up by the arctic circle. One day I will get there. Not sure which country though they all seem amazing.

Sophia, my wife’s father’s, second wife, is the owner of a huge company in Fort Worth Texas. They are lovely people but the high class aristocratic people and I have nothing in common and it’s hard for me to be around them. I’m always putting my big feet. Yes both of them in my mouth. Or being told “your not going to wear that to the restaurant are you?” Or in a high class Texas accent “ “Darling………………!?” fill in the blank. I just know I did something wrong if I got that “Darling!?” :scream:

Courage to change today made me think of you Olivia and your sleepless nights.
Thought I’d pass it along.
From Courage to Change September 15
“I spoke about my concerns in an Al-Anon meeting, and another member related a similar problem. What had helped him was to accept the situation fully and admit that he was powerless to make himself sleep. In retrospect, he said, his sleeplessness had been a blessing; it had kept him too tired to get into trouble.
I realized that the same was true for me. Instead of worrying compulsively about a loved ones sobriety, watchful and nosy despite many attempts to mind my own business, lately Ive been too tired to be overly involved in anything that wasn’t my concern. I had often prayed to be released from my obsessive worry, and now, in an unexpected way, my prayers seem to have been answered.”

I’ve been there Olivia and it sucks those sleepless nights. And drinking and doing drugs didn’t help me but I didn’t realize that then. But Al Anon help me a lot when I was younger.

@Frandango
And Fran. It makes me happy God found you. How wonderful! :pray: God called me back about 15 years ago. What a blessing. I struggle a bit today because of all these false prophets out there,
especially in American. Giving us real Christians a bad name. When I struggle I go back to Luke 8:50 when Jesus said to Jairus “don’t be afraid. Just believe” and I also love. Mark 9:24. When the boy’s father cried out “I do believe! Help me with my unbelief!”

And I think it’s so cool catching you guys getting up early when I’m getting ready for bed. Or me getting up early and reading about y’all s day as I have my coffee and get ready for my day.

Right now I feel like I’m so blessed to be sober because I feel like I am experiencing trauma. Real trauma. Without getting political. I feel like I’m loosing the country I grew up to love and admire and respect. I am so afraid of election day. Right now I can have hope. After our election I seriously don’t know if there will be any hope left in me for my country. It is so so sad what’s happening over here. I’m just grateful for Gods miracle of sobriety for me in the year 2020. Couldn’t do it without him/her and y’all

And a few shoutouts to some other people here I’d like to share with and thanks for your support.
@aircircle @Yoda-Stevie I still romanticize about that bottle of wine. But I ain’t drinking today. And I’m getting OK with that. It doesn’t happen that often anymore. But it is real.

@JasonFisher You are a rock!
@Dragonflygirl82 always around for support for everyone. Love that about you.
@StellaLuna

I’m sure I’m missing some but thanks to all for my incredible journey.

:pray: :heart:

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special mention to the ones I thought about and missed because I can only tag ten people I wanted to mention you all in above share.
@Mno
@Mu9908
@Dolse71
@Donna
@Sassyrocks

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Love this and we are all lucky to have you Eric :heart:

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Thank you dear, this post was absolutely lovely to read after a long day.
You know there’s isn’t much of a distance here, the saying goes that one US state equal one European country (I guess Russia isn’t counted in there) so you could visit all of us pretty easy and just go over the border. It might however be some different Esta/ visa rules I’m not sure. I know it’s not called Esta that’s the American version but I have no idea what EU calls their visa.
I can hear that “Darling” in my head I know how it sounds. But you know, just being you is always the best you can do. No matter what people you are around :blush:

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Great work, buddy :sunny::sunny::sunny::sunny::sunny::sunny:

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Always a pleasure hearing from you and I am so very glad and thankful you are here. FWIW, I have hope for our country. Let’s keep fighting the good fight! :heart:

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Thanks for the mention Eric. Lovely share. I’m not just afraid for the States, it’s the whole world that’s in grave danger friend. We’re in this together. At least we can fight, together. Sober and clean.

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Eric, you are a true blessing to all. Thank you for being you. :heart:

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First thing in the morning when I wake up, I always go to the gratitude list. And there you are. We are in different time zones so we are not always on on the same time here, but it feels closer to wake up to reading about your gratitudes! I am so happy that you have started to bloom, here as well :hugs:

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Amazing!! Great share. Reading incredible journeys and knowing that I am in amazing company gets me through the day. I am truly blessed to be apart of such a great community❤️

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Hi Eric, thank you for your heart warming post. I get excited when I see you’ve tagged me somewhere :slight_smile: I enjoyed your beautiful words for some of the great ladies here. We don’t (at least I definitely don’t) get to hear such things often enough.

It took me a while to process what you said to me. I’m a worry bug for sure and that is, I believe, the main cause of my insomnia. That text was a interesting point of view bc I’ve used to see it other way around. These last 2 years of battling my way back to life from depression (and the tough years that led to it) have taught me how massively important it is to let go of worry and “defuse” anxiety. It is an art to know when it’s ok to not give a shit :wink:

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