Newby wants to be sober

I’m new here. Struggling and finally getting over a 2 day hangover. At least I got a full day and a half now sober. I’ve been drinking a lot all my life. I turn sixty this month and frankly being drunk fat and hungover is getting old. I need some changes to my life. My kids are recovering addicts so I got some tools. I don’t want to go to meetings but I want to be sober. Unfortunately my lovely wife of 36 years is no help. She drinks like a fish. :pray::heart: God Bless all u guys trying to stay sober. I’m sure it’s hard work.

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I’m 58 and in the same position, day 3 sober after drinking for 47 years! Son of a publican, brother to a dead alcoholic sister and a brother 15 years sober, a dead nephew from drugs o/d a finally an alcoholic niece. Luckily my kids are clean. I am sure genes have a part to play but I have to face my demons and myself in the mirror each day and own up. (just re read this sounds like a scene from Gladiator) :slight_smile:

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Welcome! And congratulations for getting sober!

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Welcome to the forum Eric. It won’t be long and you’ll have 2 days. Woo hoo! That’s exciting and we’re all here cheering you on. Just keep focusing on your sobriety and maybe your wife will decide to jump on board. But if not, you need to keep doing you. We can’t control those around us but we can show them how much better sobriety can be. Keep taking one day at a time. :two_hearts:

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Welcome!! @Dazercat and @Art1. I am just shy of 59 and drank for more than 40+ years. My husband still drinks. I understand about being over it and ready to begin again. You CAN do this. Even with a spouse who drinks. I suggest reading a lot of threads here. I will post a link to a really good source of threads that may help. Proud of you both making these changes!!

Frequently Asked Questions

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Thank you, Looking forward to figuring out how to use the support forum and getting and if possible giving support support.

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Wow! That is terrible about your family history. I am so sorry to hear that. I am glad your kids are clean. And genes definitely have something to do with it. Congratulations to your brother 15 years sober. I reckon it is never too late to start a sober journey. I know it is going to be a struggle for me. I know I can be clean for a few weeks but after that… I guess that’s why they say One Day At A Time in AA. So that is my plan.

Thank you Sassy. I’ll get back to you later.

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@Art1 @Lisa07
Hello again. Still unsure how to use this forum but I’ll work on it. 3 full days clean or sober. Whatever u want to call it. And working a diet with the noom ap. 2 new apps to start my new year. Feeling good so far. Nothing like a good sober nights sleep and no hangover in the am. Not feeling fat either lol. Thanks y’all for the words of encouragement on my first day.:smiley_cat::heart_eyes_cat:

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Wifey still drinking. We been drinking buddies and mostly happily married for 36 1/2 years. It’s been an easy three days since the New Years bender cuz I felt so bad after. Wish I had support at home. But I know I can only control myself. If I’m sober and lucky. I can’t control other people. Learned that with two grown up kids in recovery. Anyway nice to be able to put that out there. Good night all.
:pray: Looking forward to day 4.

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Good for you @Dazercat. You’re doing awesome. It’s hard work but well worth it. Keep doing what your doing and feel free to come on and vent when things get tough.
Here’s a link that we all use to check in. Click on this and join in with everyone.
Checking in daily to help maintain focus #6
Here’s another link that has great information.
New for 2020? Start here!

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This is a really helpful safe space. I’m on Day 8. I’m 48-yrs old and have managed to always find a way to get my hands on alcohol since I was a young teen. Got my first DUI when I was 22, and my 2nd after my Dad died (an excuse, I know, but fk it) in 2011. I totally get that 2-day hangover. They are GREAT ways to quit drink,vtjo not recommended. The guilt, waking up drunk, all on Christmas…it motivated me to change. Yesterday was a weak spot, but it passed, curiously! And I wake up w/o a hangover.
Be prepared for feeling hungover anyway. And sugar/carb cravings. I’m going NUTS over sugar, part of the system detox.
Maybe give yourself a free pass to learn something you’ve always wondered about w/ the $$$ saved on cocktails? That’s what I’m doing. I’ve saved $90 so far, so when I want a bigass Slurpee or a big, fancy hibiscus tea for $6.00, then I’m doing it! I try to be gentle on myself and with alcohol being my biggest struggle, I let myself a couple of indulgences. Little rewards? Double-whammy and pick up a healthy hobby. Kayaking on a lake can be freakishly meditative. Wish I could do it more. Maybe that will be one of my rewards…keep at it! We’re all flawed and I guess it’s something we’ll deal with for a lifetime. The good news? Look of how many of us are in a similar position.
Best of luck, my friend. And happy 60th birthday! I think you’ll find this app helpful…

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None of us want to go to meetings to begin with mate bit it sounds as though you know exactly what they have to offer and how they can be of help, I just hope that you will get your bum on a seat there if you end up needing to. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Day four, feeling good but restless, gotta keep busy in the evening more. My wife’s previous was an alkie and she told me in no uncertain terms if I went down the same road that would end it. Not sure how to go from here.

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Maybe Google something DIFFERENT that you can look forward to. I’m on day 10 and having some ups & downs. Tonight, my teen daughter’s flew up to their dads, my mom (she lives with us) is out tonight, and I know I have a bottle of shit up in the cabinet.
Trying to think of options. Netflix? AGAIN? But it works. And the $ saved on alcohol, I treat myself to things I normally wouldn’t. Candy, the sugar withdarawl, or a fun drink I’d never normally get. Lemonade has been good. My horses need to be ridden, or my car vacuumed…a distraction is what helps me keep from obsessing. Then…it’s over!

I know the feeling my live in BF is my drinking buddy. We have done this for years I feel the same way just tired of drinking. We both are heavy drinkers I feel for me its time to move past Alcohol in my life. I will try an AA meeting for the first time in my life. Best of luck to you :yellow_heart:

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Hi congratulations on deciding to want to get sober💚

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Hello and welcome to your new sober life. We are ALL here to help. Read and gain knowledge from people who have been in your shoes. I’m Jim. Me and drinking never got along. Some call me an alcoholic, some don’t. All I know is 148 days ago I decided to change my life for the last time. And you CAN too! Post and join in the conversation. Lean on us, we all got your back!

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Well it’s almost bedtime now and I haven’t checked in with anyone so I thought I would. I made it 5 days now. I thought today was easy. Yesterday, not so much! I’ve complained before but wifey is NO HELP as she made patron martinis this afternoon. I was drinking my green tea and then La Croix water. I kept busy, meditated, got in a workout, vacuumed, walked the dogs. Not in that order. I find hitting the gym or walking or even just meditating to start you day off really helps, after a good cup of fresh ground coffee in the am without a hangover of course. Coffee taste better fresh ground without a hangover.
Everybody stick to it the best you can. Drink lots of water. Pray. Take it one day at a time. :pray::heart:

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148 days!! God Bless ya. Great work! I got 5 days. I haven’t decided if I’m changing for good or not. It’s a scary thought. I guess as they say in AA “One Day At A Time”. I’ve always been able to manage my drinking. We’ve got along well me and my booze. Except for passing out once and awhile at home I’ve never got a DUI or lost a job or lost a spouse or a car wreck or anything like that. I’ve always seemed to know my limits when I’m out. But boy can I cut loose when I get home. I sound just like an alcoholic don’t I? I reckon I am. Been doing it 45 years. Turning 60 this month and need a big change. I do get some hangovers though. It is the best to wake up without a hangover. Hangovers are my problem. Not the drinking. Keep up the great work. :pray::heart: I’m glad to be here.

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