I had to become willing to stop fighting the idea of sobriety. I made lots of excuses, including work stress and family stress, to return to drinking. The idea of being sober and NEVER driving again was too overwhelming for me at the time.
I became willing to practice radical sobriety on a day to day basis. I did not drink no matter what one day at a time. I got help from many quarters. I stopped thinking about forever and being anxious over the future in exchange for actions taken to keep me sober for that day.
You have made it 5 days on fear and willpower. There is a discussion here on many other ways to grow your sobriety. Resources for our recovery
Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.