Thought I’d write an entry on how my day has been seeing as I want to stick to keeping a record of how I’m feeling.
Today has been one of those days where I woke up in a great mood, Mondays usually a busy day at work in the salon but the weather was pretty bleak today so I think people were avoiding coming into town so by lunchtime I was on a bit of a downer as I always get if work gets quiet as I get paid per Haircut.
After having a couple people walk in mid morning I was finishing up the last client and another person walks in staring straight at me with a weird grin on his face and my heart dropped, it was my old dealer. I can’t turn him away because I needed the money but the whole time he was in my chair he was talking about the ‘new bit’ he had in and how all his customers we’re loving it. Normally I’m okay with talking to people who still use because I can kinda distance myself from it but when you’re having a full on conversation about crack and heroin with someone you know full well has a pocket full of it, it really sent my mind into a manic kind of panic feeling and every part of me was so tempted to give in and just take something off him and disappear for an hour.
BUT through using some breathing techniques that my sponsor and L have taught me I managed to keep my sensible head on and just finish off the Haircut, take cash payment and send him on his way.
I really feel like I’ve achieved something through this experience, managing to get through it when it was almost held out Infront of me on a platter.
Recovery 1 - Drug Dealer - 
Hope everyone is having a great day and keeping positive. I’ll check in again tomorrow, I’m off to bed, hopefully tomorrow will be a busy day at work 
Love to all 
