No clue how to do this

My mom was an alcoholic. My partners mom was an alcoholic. All I had to do was not go out and get hammered and I couldn’t do it. Now I’m pretty sure I’ve lost the person I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with and trying to start this journey completely alone. No clue where to start or how to do this. Terrified I won’t be able to. Terrified I’ll turn into my mother. Idk, I’m kind of just screaming into the abyss at this point because I haven’t gotten out of bed in two days.

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Lots of peeps will reply with all kinds of good advice…Im not one of them, but Im wishing you the best.

Take a look at the various topics and read…a lot…theres already a lot of info here regarding questions you have asked…and will ask.

The checking in daily thread offers a lot…

Be well

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Hi @whatthebecc. I’m sorry that you’re feeling so heavy at the moment. You are surrounded by people that know how you’re feeling. It’s time to break the generational pattern. It can be done, I’m living proof!! Be gentle with yourself right now. Nothing ever stays the same. Just don’t drink, today. Then tomorrow repeat. Take it a moment at a time. Lean on us here. We hurt the people that love us so much when we are stuck in addiction. The only thing that will make things better is time. Give your partner time. I hurt my family and I never thought that my mistakes would be forgiven but with time and me sober we are stronger than ever. Trust is a hard thing to get back. Please try to be gentle on yourself. Rest, stay hydrated and get something to eat. When I first came here someone said to treat myself like I have flu. Wrap up warm get some tea, take a warm bath/shower and just look after myself. It was very good advice, that I now offer to you. Also, I was advised to write down how dreadful I was feeling right now (in the beginning of my sober journey)and to keep it somewhere handy to read if I was to think about drinking again. In 4+ years I’ve only had to read it twice and it stopped me in my tracks. This place is great, stick with us my new sober friend! I wish you all the best and I’m sending you strength! We can do this together!! :pray:t2::two_hearts:

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Thank you. I’m really trying to be gentle with myself, it’s hard to do when I’ve messed up everything but I’m trying. The flu advice is good, I didn’t get out of bed yesterday but maybe today I’ll try to move to the couch.

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How are you doing today Becca?

Okay. Feeling fine about not drinking, but really struggling with the possibility of losing my relationship. I’m trying to just get in front of it and unpack the trauma and crap I’ve been carrying around for a long time.

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You’re already doing it by being here and not only recognizing the need to change but prioritizing it too!

Welcome to the TS community!

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I don’t have any good advice because I’m new to this, too. I just know I don’t want to be like my mother either. But we both got this, we have to end the cycle.

We got this for sure! I’ve been cleaning out my apartment, clearing out old junk, and its helping me really clear my mind too. It’s been really helping!