One of the things I did when I finally quit drinking, I wrote a list of everything place I went to where I drank. That list became my personal banned from list. At first, I figured My social life was fucked. That list of establishments was a small percentage of places to go and eat.
Protect your sobriety, and a phenomenal life follows.
Hi how has the past week been for you ?
Thought id check in see how you are doing.
I struggle with similar issues. I love the social aspect of it. For that reason, I’ve made it a promise to myself that I won’t return to bars where the bartenders, owners, and regulars know me on a first name basis.
I have been on a long out of control spiral. I am hurting myself and other. I’m really trying but that voice in the back of my just has to much control.
Have you ever tried AA meetings ? Either face to face meetings or online meetings ?
I know taking that first step and those first couple of days are so hard.
Asking and accepting help is difficult at first but i can tell you from experience that asking health professionals and opening up to them is nothing bad like we can often imagine and its confidential, maybe this would be helpful to your recovery?
I had many years sober before this time around and i relapsed and carried on drinking heavier and heavier over 2 years, nothing good came of it.
You need to bounce back and start your new day 1, dont let the feelings of shame, guilt etc Keep you in a dark place and a downward spiral of drinking until you have nothing left to lose.
You are worth so much, make a plan and tell yourself when you wake up " i will not drink just for today" and do it one day at a time.
Find that strength and power inside you, its there you just have to pull it out.
Start your new fresh day 1 you have all of us here to support you or chat to at anytime we know how you feel and have experienced what your going through.
I know you can make this change and you must believe in yourself.
What do you think will help you to start your new day1?
What plan do you think will help you just get through your day1 ?
Hey Ryan, we’ve all been where you’re at but you got to want sobriety more than anything else. What are you willing to do to fight that voice? For me, it was detox, IOP and AA. Have you considered rehab? There comes a point when you have to ask for help. That is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength.
I need to talk to someone. I need to not be at the bar twice a day. And stop getting in fights. This past Friday was difficult. I can’t move, I went on a all day binge. Ended the night with a fight after starting drinking at 12 and the bar tender and manager holding me till 4 am to sleep for a few hours down stairs. I am surrounding myself with negativity. And I look worse every day. I have zero motivation. The only time I feel anything is drunk.
Sounds to me you got to get yourself to a meeting. ASAP. AA being the most obvious, although there’s others too. But I’m sure you need peer support. Now. Time to admit you can’t make it out alone. We’re here too for you. I am here. Break the cycle.
It is a cycle. I spend more time at the bar then home. It really is sad. As I sit there and go on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Happy, angry, sad. I am happy that I feel social. Angry at myself when I realize what I’m doing. Then sad because I see it in the eyes of the ones I love that I am hurting them.
Fight Ryan, fight like hell. You are the change and you need to want it, but you can’t do it alone. Find a support system whether it be AA or rehab. After almost 30 years I hit my rock bottom and said I’m done (after numerous attempts). I still hear the voices but I’m fighting like hell to ignore and avoid them because I know in the bigger picture, sobriety is better for me, lifesaving even. Stay active and lean on the wonderful and supporting people here.
Day after day it seems I am only proving how weak I am. I drank so much last night that it’s controlling my life, again. I’m not going to work because I am still drunk and feel like it’s going to cause a seizure. Why can I not get a hold of this. It’s honestly pathetic and I going to end up killing myself.
Is rehab an option for you? It’s fantastic for getting through first withdrawal stage and monitoring for seizures. It’s like a kick start to sobriety.
Ryan, you’ve gotten lots of good suggestions here so far. It sounds to me like you have no action plan for sobriety. You’re just hoping and intending to not drink.
A difference between us in this regard is that I did not have these pity parties in public. But I had them in my head, just like you. I kept drinking and acting stupid, drinking and letting my family down, drinking and getting arrested, and I felt horrible and helpless. But I could not change my behavior. I wanted to change, I fantasized about being better, but I turned and walked to the beer cooler at the store every single day.
My life was changed for me, I was stopped from drinking by getting arrested and released with strict conditions, including daily breath alcohol tests at the police station. I was convicted of DUI #5 and sentenced to 3 years, most of it served on house arrest and parole.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Get yourself into rehab or maybe on Antabuse, something to force your behavior change. Or the cops, or Mr Death, will show up and control your behavior for you.
Take action. Now. And know that my good wishes and blessings go out to you to help you do the right thing.
Because you’re not actually doing what you need to do to get sober. Get to a meeting. Get to three meetings a day if you need to. Get whatever medical support you need (visit a doctor).
You’re an alcoholic and until you do what you have to do - even if you don’t want to do it - you’ll be stuck.
Wishing you peace brother. You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.
I have just made calls to my union and will be starting a detox in the hospital in the next few days. After that I’ll be going away to a place in PA or out east on Long Island.
This is great news, Ryan. Rehab sounds like a great plan. Good for you for making that call.
Good work Ryan. One step at a time is how it happens. Keep trying, keep looking for your next step, and you will get it.
I am excited but extremely scared about over coming the seizures. As someone who already has epilepsy I run a huge risk of seizures. Now that I will be detoxing I’m definitely going to be in a very high situation. I appreciate all the support, I will continue to reach out and help in ways I can with others. I want to be a example of what to do rather then what not to do.
Glad to hear that Ryan. I got out of the military, came back to NY and then after two years and multiple lost jobs I threw my hands ups and said I’m done. I called a church nearby and two days later I was in California. Helped me through the withdrawals and then it’s intensive therapy for awhile. Most reputable places will start you with the 12 steps. They started me back in a decent diet and got me to the drs to get multiple injuries taken care of I put off for years. Only going to make you better. I am days away from 6 months Sober and I was right where you are six months ago man. It’s scary as hell but you will have no problem with it Im sure! Good luck man and stay in touch.