Fight Ryan, fight like hell. You are the change and you need to want it, but you can’t do it alone. Find a support system whether it be AA or rehab. After almost 30 years I hit my rock bottom and said I’m done (after numerous attempts). I still hear the voices but I’m fighting like hell to ignore and avoid them because I know in the bigger picture, sobriety is better for me, lifesaving even. Stay active and lean on the wonderful and supporting people here.
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Day after day it seems I am only proving how weak I am. I drank so much last night that it’s controlling my life, again. I’m not going to work because I am still drunk and feel like it’s going to cause a seizure. Why can I not get a hold of this. It’s honestly pathetic and I going to end up killing myself.
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Is rehab an option for you? It’s fantastic for getting through first withdrawal stage and monitoring for seizures. It’s like a kick start to sobriety.
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Ryan, you’ve gotten lots of good suggestions here so far. It sounds to me like you have no action plan for sobriety. You’re just hoping and intending to not drink.
A difference between us in this regard is that I did not have these pity parties in public. But I had them in my head, just like you. I kept drinking and acting stupid, drinking and letting my family down, drinking and getting arrested, and I felt horrible and helpless. But I could not change my behavior. I wanted to change, I fantasized about being better, but I turned and walked to the beer cooler at the store every single day.
My life was changed for me, I was stopped from drinking by getting arrested and released with strict conditions, including daily breath alcohol tests at the police station. I was convicted of DUI #5 and sentenced to 3 years, most of it served on house arrest and parole.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Get yourself into rehab or maybe on Antabuse, something to force your behavior change. Or the cops, or Mr Death, will show up and control your behavior for you.
Take action. Now. And know that my good wishes and blessings go out to you to help you do the right thing.
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Because you’re not actually doing what you need to do to get sober. Get to a meeting. Get to three meetings a day if you need to. Get whatever medical support you need (visit a doctor).
You’re an alcoholic and until you do what you have to do - even if you don’t want to do it - you’ll be stuck.
Wishing you peace brother. You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.
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I have just made calls to my union and will be starting a detox in the hospital in the next few days. After that I’ll be going away to a place in PA or out east on Long Island.
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This is great news, Ryan. Rehab sounds like a great plan. Good for you for making that call.
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Good work Ryan. One step at a time is how it happens. Keep trying, keep looking for your next step, and you will get it.
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I am excited but extremely scared about over coming the seizures. As someone who already has epilepsy I run a huge risk of seizures. Now that I will be detoxing I’m definitely going to be in a very high situation. I appreciate all the support, I will continue to reach out and help in ways I can with others. I want to be a example of what to do rather then what not to do.
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Glad to hear that Ryan. I got out of the military, came back to NY and then after two years and multiple lost jobs I threw my hands ups and said I’m done. I called a church nearby and two days later I was in California. Helped me through the withdrawals and then it’s intensive therapy for awhile. Most reputable places will start you with the 12 steps. They started me back in a decent diet and got me to the drs to get multiple injuries taken care of I put off for years. Only going to make you better. I am days away from 6 months Sober and I was right where you are six months ago man. It’s scary as hell but you will have no problem with it Im sure! Good luck man and stay in touch.
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100 percent agree. When I have been in periods of sobriety this is one the tips that helps me not relapse
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Thats great you have a date set, start on detox, just take it easy one step at a time. Like they say take what you need and leave the rest glad you made the calls.
wishing you well brother
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Coming on to this app with a question like this is like asking to receive a big stream of consciousness. You’re going to get a variety of answers some very supportive and understanding and others ummmm… yeah not so much.
We can tell you what you’re doing is wrong. Ask you why you’re doing it or even tell you to go to McDonald’s instead. We can tell you what what is right according to us and what has worked for us.
In the end it’s ALWAYS going to come down to being your decision…not anyone else’s.
And even though I’m in no position right now because I don’t have a lot of time under my belt I do know that I AM the ONLY one responsible for my addiction. I’m responsible for every drink that I take.
You will find your path when you are ready and in the meantime please stay safe and take good care of yourself love yourself and know that you’re worth the life that you want. Because I don’t think that this is it or you wouldn’t be here…
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