It sucks when u have to quit cold turkey and ur s/o dont understand what ur going through or dont have any friends to talk to … life feels like it sucks and i want my fucking wine …
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There are plenty of people here to chat with. I lived on this app early on. Just read up. Tons of great info here.
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Cold Turkey is an absolute bitch. But its in those moments you learn the most about yourself and your capabilities. You say in your profile that you used to be a photographer - thats pretty cool. I thought about getting a decent camera and trying my hand at one point. Why don’t you pick up a lens and fall back into it? 
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Finding local meetings helped me to meet people who understand exactly what I’m going through and and allowed me to make good sober connections. Best wishes
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My first aa meeting is tomorrow im nervous i had another meeting Thursday but it was at the doctors office qith a therapist it just sucks they gave me pills that Help me not want to drink and if I drink it’ll make me really sick but sje said i couldn’t tale take them till she called me and said i could and its been 4 days … so im a little irritated
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Tons of people here - not only that, they are supportive and uplifting and understand what you are going through. I saw you used to enjoy hiking and photography…why’d you quit?
Nature is one of the best mental health prescriptions you can find, mix in scenic photography and you now have two favorite pastimes that are healthy and fill a void that may be left by alcohol.
A year ago I created this thread, people post some amazing images on it…check it out and if you feel so inclined, post some stuff. Life Through a Sober Lens
There’s also another one called Mother Nature💚 - I don’t have the url, but u can find it in the search function.
Photography is an art and I firmly believe when we share things which are beautiful in our eyes with others, we have a positive impact on someone else and have the opportunity to lift someone’s spirit and make their day a bit brighter. This, in turn has a positive impact on our own psyche.
Wishing you well. 
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My first AA meeting was last week - you have nothing to fear…some of the most supportive people I’ve ever met were in that space. It takes a lot of courage to walk in there, and complete step one in front of everyone, but it also takes a load off your shoulders that only by experiencing it will you be able to relate.
I have tried a lot of methods over the years, I finally decided to give meetings a shot - I don’t agree with everything AA teaches, but that’s okay, this is my life and my program and I’m going to do what works for me.
I tried Antabuse YEARS ago…it works for some people, but not for others. You have to take it for it to be effective, so that takes the same level of commitment and determination in my eyes as not drinking at all.
You can handle this, things will get better.
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Meetings have helped me regain focus at times, not every meeting will be for you, at times I have walked out shaking my head, but two things will happen at some point, either you will get fed or you will get your toes stomped on, one or the other or both are what is needed in a meeting…keep going until you find the right fit for YOU…
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I can relate. My whole core group of friends are heavy drinkers and drug users. I got clean and now I’m left to make new friends… which is soooo much fun when you’re an introvert. Haha!! Hang in there, you absolutely can do this. It sucks having to basically start over but in the end it’s so worth it.
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Left the drug scene now I got no friends left Owel
Im in the same boat…