Welcome back Julia 
Recovery is a real change. Itās a step in a different direction. That is a hard thing to do. It is 100% doable, one day at a time; itās simple - the steps are simple - but itās not easy.
Keep checking in here; thatāll help. Many of us use this thread to catch up:
Checking in daily to maintain focus #38
It also helps many people to find a recovery program and work that. Recovery means learning to do things differently, and a group is a good place fo learn. Thereās a good list here:
Thereās also a lot of podcasts and book suggestions there.
Take care, take it one day at a time, and you will be fine. Donāt give up, donāt isolate - donāt listen to that voice that tells you āI just need to get awayā. It will come. It will tempt you to retreat back to booze. Stand strong and do the opposite: come here and share. Call a sober friend. Do the opposite of running away to booze. Find your community and stick to them like glue!