I’ve been struggling a lot lately. 9 days ago I drank few pints and lately smoked some weed. I’m a mess, I don’t have any motivation to stay sober. I’m just lying in my bed paralyzed. I’m depressed, full of guilt, shame and fear. Any advices how to stay motivated? I don’t wanna relapse again.
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So you are motivated to not relapse right? I’m going to qoute Ray. Maybe try a meeting? Online or in person, whatever the colour or denomiation, we need our peers to stay sober. We can’t do it alone and we’re in this together. Find help with the folks who know about guilt and shame and fear and depression. You’re not alone David.
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Man the relapse cycle is so vicious and mentally draining. You have stacked yo some solid days and know how amazing it feels to be sober. You also know how horrible it feels when you relapse. Keep these feelings in mind as you push forward and stay clear of the cravings. Stay connected here and find support in real life.
Like Mno said, we need connection to help us through this journey. We can’t do it alone.
Beware of your triggers, keep a alcohol/ weed free space and find ways to keep yourself busy. We are all here rooting for you David. One moment at a time 
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I find motivation at in person AA meetings. Those people have walked similar paths. Hearing their experience, strength and hope keeps me going back.
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I see a lot of reasons to stay sober in there. Depression, shame, guilt and fear are direct symptoms of addiction.
Maybe try something else than drinking & smoking when you feel like this to get relief ? Maybe being sober is the way to go? What about testing it by trying to not drink just today?
Tomorrow you repeat : just not today.
The day after you repeat: just not today.
Sooner than later you’ll be feeling much better.
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Thank you everyone for your advices and encouraging words! I gotta stay strong, continue to see my therapist and going online meetings. I realize now that sobriety has to be number one in my life. I can’t just drink only two pints or smoke a joint, it’s a slippery slope, moderation is not for me because I’m an addict. Gotta just take one day at a time to starting to feel better. Now I’m in a really dark place, but I can see some light if I just stay sober.
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Great words. Do you believe them? It does take work. I still question why you are so close to pints and weed when you get the urges? #1 thing to do is change pattern of how easy it is for you to relapse with those items. Availability of what makes you relapse should be so far from your grasp to give you time to deny the cravings. Also while I am trying to help. Does your therapist really know how much you are depressed? I am here always rooting for you to succeed.
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Thank you! Yeah, weed and booze is so available that it’s sometimes hard to stay away from them. But now I’m focused, I’m not gonna give up this time. I have weed withdrawals going on, but that’s okay. I will survive. ODAAT.
Edit: and yeah, my therapist and doctor knows how depressed I am. I’m taking meds but they doesn’t seem to help. But that’s no surprise because of the recent relapses, my brain chemistry is fucked up.
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Maybe try doing a meeting online you don’t need to show you face just listen to other people shares and you’ll be able to relate and gather motivation, spend time on the different threads on the forum maybe try getting involved even if it’s just of the just for fun threads, try taking yourself out for a walk I know that’s difficult for you at the moment but lying in bed is only making things a lot worse anyway I’m glad you reached out for some help 
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Thank you! Yeah, you’re right, lying in bed makes things just worse. I love to take long walks, gotta get back to that routine. I’m attending in online meetings regularly and they really help. Lately I’ve been just feeling so low and lazy, gotta straighten up and stop this self-pity.
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Great job maybe when you get you confidence going a bit try an in person meeting
Make you don’t get too hungry or tired because that can trigger an urge, the walk don’t need to be long even a 20 to 30 minute walk can make the world of difference
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Yeah, it’s def one of my goals to be able to go into in-person meetings. Right now I’m just socially too exhausted to see anyone. Gotta take it slow like you wisely suggested. I’ve had a goal to walk at least 15 000 steps per day, so I’m gonna go back into that routine.
I already feel better, thanks to you all guys! I can beat this disease! Long live the sobriety!
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As you know, I’m very new to all this but I really think you can do it!
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Thank you! Same to you, we got this!
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Is it in your home or do you go somewhere accessible to purchase? I have a 24 hour liquor store that sells edibles with 5 min walking so I get accessibility. Key is to not have it at home and also to find ways to avoid that store / area if possible. I had to shop at Coop’s and farmers markets early on to avoid being triggered at the grocery store with the alcohol aisle.
You just need to make a hard decision to not partake and then do whatever it takes to protect your decision.
I know none of this is easy. You are stronger than you think…glad you are giving meetings a shot and hope you continue to work your therapy and recovery. ODAAT . You are doing great my friend! Stay connected
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Thank you! I don’t have weed or booze at home, but I can get both of those nearby, gotta just avoid those places. But now I’m lazer focused for being sober. Thanks to you all, I already feel better and more confident. ODAAT.
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That’s the spirit. Motivation doesn’t really have that much to do with it. It’s about choice. It’s kinda like getting fit. The motivation doesn’t come until after you start, and even then, the motivation doesn’t really matter that much. What matters is making that choice and showing up.
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Thank you, Matt, for the inspirational words!
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I can say that was me 3 months ago. Look at like a second chance at life. I’m so much kinder to myself now, I’m amazing I have done what I never thought I could. I don’t drink. Everything in life is different now. I still get the odd urge but it’s about changing your routine. Im very worried about Christmas but my life is so much better now I think this just might get me through. I have forgiven myself for all the bad stuff I did because I’m trying my best now by not drinking. The feeling of not hating myself is far better than that 1st drink buzz. I love more than anything talking to people without hiding. I can take on almost anything every day. I was so sick drinking, no different to a dying patient in hospital but I’m not sick anymore and never want to be again. I can’t stress how life has transformed… Stick with it… you will love yourself. One day you wake up and the bad feelings are gone… you won’t know until you give it shot. No more sickness. A life where you look forward to waking up and giving a warm cup of tea… to be normal and better than the rest of them or as good at least. Best of luck bud
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